


the thing with the window

by patrichor



Series: sbi stories [2]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: ...does it count as a near-death experience if you're already dead..?, ...why is bbh's tag his real name that sucks, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Multiple Pronouns for Eret (Video Blogging RPF), Oh also, Platonic Soulmates, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Twins Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, and imo platonic soulmates are more meaningful than romantic ones anyway, because i refuse to write romance, chatfic, dream and ranboo are siblings, for ranboo ofc, i'm not writing about the real person y'all, kind of, more characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, they're working on getting tubbo & ranboo into the family lmao
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:21:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28681755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patrichor/pseuds/patrichor
Summary: [ SLEEPY BOYS INCORPORATED ]> dadza is onlinedadza: wil.fishfucker: yes?dadza: do you know why sapnap stopped by and asked me if you've ever killed anyone?dadza: i asked what he meant and he said you 'just have that vibe'fishfucker: no idea i most certainly have done no such thing please inform sapnap it would be wise for him to stop prying :)fishfucker: actually nevermind, i'll tell him myself> fishfucker is offlinedadza: fuck's sake
Relationships: BadBoyHalo & Skeppy, Clay | Dream & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Darryl Noveschosch & Phil Watson, Eret & Niki | Nihachu & Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Ranboo & Phil Watson & Badboyhalo, Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: sbi stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078391
Comments: 486
Kudos: 1273





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> dsfksfdb i'm challenging myself to write as little angst as possible with this one bc we all know i write pain best :'  
> n e way most usernames should be okay to figure out? i tried to have them say each others names at least once, but if anything is confusing let me know
> 
> i have planned lore for more people than will probably appear bc i need to stop trying to juggle large casts but yeah
> 
> also this is about the characters not the ccs!! standard rules apply if any of the ccs say they're uncomfortable w this kind of stuff they'll be removed/the fic taken down :)

**[ SLEEPY BOYS INCORPORATED ]**

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** wil.

**fishfucker:** yes?

**dadza:** do you know why sapnap stopped by and asked me if you've ever killed anyone?  
**dadza:** i asked what he meant and he said you 'just have that vibe'

**fishfucker:** no idea i most certainly have done no such thing please inform sapnap it would be wise for him to stop prying :)  
**fishfucker:** actually nevermind, i'll tell him myself

**> fishfucker is offline**

**dadza:** fuck's sake

**[ SAPNAP, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** fuck around and find out

**> fishfucker is offline**

  
**[ SLEEPY BOYS INCORPORATED ]**

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** okay all good :)

**dadza:** did you threaten him

**fishfucker:** absolutely not i can't believe you would even ask  
**fishfucker:** is that what you think of me philza minecraft????

**dadza:** yes

**fishfucker:** okay maybe a little

**dadza:** ha nice

**fishfucker:** :)

  
**[ SAPNAP, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> pyromania is online**

**pyromania:** oh my god  
**pyromania:** why are you so ominous?? it's actually terrifying

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** :)

**pyromania:** okay okay message received i'll stop asking about any illegal hobbies you may or may not have

**> fishfucker is offline**

**pyromania:** ..jesus that's horrifying

**> pyromania is offline**

  
**[ CONSPIRACY: WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> pyromania is online**

**pyromania:** hey guys  
**pyromania:** new information to add to the board

**> knife emoji is online**  
**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** oh this should be good  
**dreamon:** _@monochrome_

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** yes, i'm here  
**monochrome:** oh! yeah let me get a pen  
**monochrome:** okay go

**pyromania:** okay so i asked phil if wilbur had ever killed anyone because he just has that vibe

**knife emoji:** you what

**monochrome:** philza minecraft?? you went up to philza minecraft and asked if his son had ever killed anyone???

**pyromania:** yeah anyway he must've told wilbur about it because not ten minutes later i get this text  
**pyromania:** _[image of a text conversation reading_  
_ > fishfucker is online_

_fishfucker: fuck around and find out_

_> fishfucker is offline ]_

**knife emoji:** ha

**pyromania:** this isn't funny technoblade i'm pretty sure your brother just threatened to kill me

**knife emoji:** he would  
**knife emoji:** that's exactly what makes it funny

**pyromania:** >:O

**dreamon:** i mean  
**dreamon:** you gotta admit it's kinda funny

**pyromania:** D:<  
**pyromania:** i've been betrayed  
**pyromania:** ranboo, you're my only hope  
**pyromania:** tell them it isn't funny :/

**monochrome:** uh  
**monochrome:** i'd rather not get involved in this one

**pyromania:** ok switzerland

**dreamon:** ignore him, ranboo  
**dreamon:** sapnap, he doesn't have to give his opinion if he doesn't want to

**monochrome:** it's not so much that i don't want to say my opinion  
**monochrome:** i just don't really have one  
**monochrome:** thanks though :)

**dreamon:** you're welcome :)

  
**[ DREAM, TECHNOBLADE ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** new case from phil  
**knife emoji:** does tonight and tomorrow night work for you?

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** i can make time  
**dreamon:** what're we looking at?

**knife emoji:** malevolent ghost or minor demon probably  
**knife emoji:** no deaths so far, but three people have been assaulted in the same way by someone they're close to  
**knife emoji:** the attackers all claim they can't remember anything about it  
**knife emoji:** there's been a week or so between each attack, so the next one should be in the next couple days

**dreamon:** classic possession case, then?

**knife emoji:** looks that way

**dreamon:** any idea who the next target will be?

**knife emoji:** i took wilbur around town to see if he could pick up on anything  
**knife emoji:** you know he doesn't get specifics but he said that one rich neighborhood in the foothills gave him 'weird vibes'  
**knife emoji:** unless you want to bring in ranboo, that's the best hint we're gonna get

**dreamon:** no, that's fine  
**dreamon:** just having a general area is helpful enough  
**dreamon:** sure you need my help on this one, though? we've both taken down tougher

**knife emoji:** ..phil said i'm not allowed to hunt solo for a month after what happened last time

**dreamon:** are you  
**dreamon:** are you grounded??

**knife emoji:** yeah  
**knife emoji:** really it's unfair if you think about it, it's not my fault the ghost decided to haunt private property

**dreamon:** mmm the thing with the window was your fault though

**knife emoji:** ...  
**knife emoji:** how do you know about the window

**dreamon:** wilbur overheard your conversation with philza and i bribed him to tell me

**knife emoji:** i can't believe this, that traitor  
**knife emoji:** what is brotherhood worth to him

**dreamon:** uhh first he asked for me to officially and publically concede victory to l'manberg which,, no  
**dreamon:** my counteroffer was some blackmail i have on eret and quackity and that was good enough i guess

**knife emoji:** i'm going to kill him

**dreamon:** pretty sure you're a couple hundred years late on that one

**knife emoji:** did you forget what we do for a living?

**dreamon:** w  
**dreamon:** we don't get paid what do you mean 'for a living'

**knife emoji:** in my defense that sounded a lot cooler in my head  
**knife emoji:** meet at phil's house at seven thirty to gear up?

**dreamon:** works for me, see you then  
**dreamon:** love you say it back

**knife emoji:** no

**> knife emoji is offline**

**dreamon:** hahahahha

**> dreamon is offline**

  
**[ OFFICIAL ADOPTEES ]**

**> please stop is online**

**please stop:** wilbur soot.

**> big t is online**

**big t:** oooo someone's in touble

**please stop:** touble

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** touble

**big t:** this is bullying :(

**fishfucker:** correct :)

**please stop:** wilbur.

**fishfucker:** technoblade.

**please stop:** care to explain why i just heard about the window from dream

**big t:** th  
**big t:** the window??  
**big t:** wait what window what are you talking about

**fishfucker:** if you're asking me, i would assume you already know

**please stop:** was it worth it, wilbur soot-minecraft?  
**please stop:** was a bit of blackmail worth betraying our bond as brothers?  
**please stop:** are you pleased with your decision? prepared to face the consequences of your choice?

**fishfucker:** yeah i'm cool with that actually  
**fishfucker:** quackity is surprisingly hard to get any credible dirt on, schlatt probably covers for him  
**fishfucker:** and you know how i feel about eret ever since he betrayed l'manburg

**please stop:** they disagreed with you on one debate topic

**fishfucker:** yeah and we lost that battle because of her!  
**fishfucker:** his actions led directly to a victory for the dream team and i cannot stand for that

**please stop:** but you can make deals with dream whenever you feel like it, huh?

**fishfucker:** yeah, because i'm not betraying my country! the nation we have sacrificed so much to build, the safe haven from the tyranny of dream and his people who for so long have oppressed those of us who think differently from them!

**big t:** YEAH

**fishfucker:** tommy has nobly sacrificed himself in a one-on-one duel with dream to win us our freedom and right to be recognized as independant from the dream team, and you want to dismiss his efforts as nothing?

**big t:** YEAH BITCH

**please stop:** it's a debate club wilbur it's not that deep????  
**please stop:** tommy you challenged dream to a solo debate and lost it really doesn't have to be that dramatic

**big t:** how dare you!!! i lost one of my three canon lives in that duel >:0

**please stop:** your.  
**please stop:** your what.

**fishfucker:** yeah we and the dream team agreed that in order to reach eventual victory for one side, every person would have three canon lives  
**fishfucker:** if you lose a debate really badly or if it makes for a really dramatic moment you lose a canon life  
**fishfucker:** everyone in l'manberg lost a life in the control room debate because the betrayal made it such a powerful scene, except niki since she didn't join until a bit later  
**fishfucker:** and tommy lost a canon life in the duel with dream so he's down to one, niki has three, and everyone else has two

**please stop:** ...  
**please stop:** why are you like this

**fishfucker:** i have been dead for a few hundred years do you know how much storytelling i've had no audience for  
**fishfucker:** i'm absoutely making the most of it now that i have an audience that actually cannot leave :D

**please stop:** ...i don't know how but you tricked me out of being mad at you for your betrayal  
**please stop:** i'm leaving, now i just have a headache from trying to comprehend what the hell goes on in your head

**fishfucker:** :)

**> please stop is offline**

**big t:** you did it wilbur!! now he's too confused to keep asking questions!

**fishfucker:** my greatest strength: talking until people leave to avoid hearing any more  
**fishfucker:** anyway i'm pretty sure techno's going hunting tonight  
**fishfucker:** want to invite tubbo and ranboo over? phil won't mind as long as you clean up the inevitable mess you'll make

**big t:** i am very offended by your last comment but i will graceously let it go because i am a mature adult

**fishfucker:** graceously

**> please stop is online**

**please stop:** graceously

**> please stop is offline**

**big t:** what the fuck how do u two even do that??

**fishfucker:** automatic bully-a-child senses go off

**big t:** fuck u i am a mature adult

**fishfucker:** ok child

**> fishfucker is offline**

**big t:** HEY  
**big t:** YOU BITCH

**> big t is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i will list some things here since it's easier for everyone
> 
> LIVING SITUATIONS
> 
> phil's house  
> \- phil  
> \- technoblade  
> \- wilbur  
> \- tommy
> 
> apartment  
> \- tubbo  
> \- ranboo  
> \- niki  
> \- eret
> 
> dream & sapnap live in another apartment in the same building
> 
> RELATIONS  
> \- phil's adopted technoblade, wilbur, & tommy. he wants to also at least foster tubbo & ranboo, but that's a work in progress  
> \- technoblade and wilbur aren't actually related, but technoblade didn't have a birthday and wilbur was so offended he made them share so they're twins now  
> \- dream is ranboo's older half-brother, but the accident that gave ranboo amnesia separated them and he wants to let ranboo remember at his own pace so from ranboo's pov he's just a nice, slightly overprotective friend/neighbor
> 
> SPECIES  
> \- phil: celestial. has wings of light, protects those under his care, etc. also minor healing abilities  
> \- technoblade: avatar of the blood god. pretty much just makes him a better fighter and also keeps him from dying permanently. like he can die it just doesn't last long. he satisfies his patron with the blood of the malevolent creatures he & dream hunt instead of targeting humans  
> \- wilbur: ghost, think like a poltergeist. invisibility, minor telekinesis, intangibility, limited flight. he lived in the house phil now owns for a few hundred years until phil & technoblade moved in. technoblade was going to get rid of him but when he saw how ecstatic wilbur was just to have someone to talk to he didn't have the heart to exorcise him. gives wildly different answers every time he's asked how he died  
> \- tommy: trickster. basically just rule of funny powers. cartoon logic in this bitch. it backfires on him plenty but he doesn't mind  
> \- tubbo: nature spirit. controls plants/animals, stronger healing abilities than phil  
> \- ranboo: half dreamon, half celestial. teleportation, prehensile tail, minor illusions  
> \- dream: dreamon. enhanced reaction speed, luck, illusions, entering dreams, view but not alter memories  
> \- george: psychic human  
> \- sapnap: fire spirit  
> \- badboyhalo: fallen celestial. basically an inverse of phil, his whole thing also centers around oaths and protecting those 'under his care' (his friends lmao). the biggest difference is that he uses demonic instead of holy power to do so. notably, unlike others of his kind who can now only cause decay, he retains the ability to heal others, something said to depend on one's pureness/strength of heart. but if his heart is still pure enough to heal, why did he fall in the first place...?  
> \- skeppy: cursed human. parts of his skin are crystallized, made of a material similar to diamond but practically unbreakable. it's very slowly spreading to more of his body, and he'll die when he completely transforms. he summoned bbh to the human realm to try and find a way to break the curse, but the ritual he used linked their life energy so bad survives as long as he does  
> \- fundy: kitsune/fox spirit  
> \- niki: dragon shifter  
> \- eret: ??? (not even they know)  
> \- quackity: harpy  
> \- schlatt: goatman, technically a demon. supernaturally convincing, it doesn't work on wilbur since he was something similar when he was alive. they get along so well because wilbur doesn't fall for his shit but will often go along with him anyway


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big t: anyway techno's leaving before eight so we'll have plenty of time
> 
> the arson was an accident i swear: what's he doing? if you don't mind me asking
> 
> big t: uh dream's coming over for a bit so they're probably gonna go do regular things together
> 
> big crime: yeah! regular person things that regular people do, you know how it is :)
> 
> the arson was an accident i swear: uh  
> the arson was an accident i swear: okay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for all the lovely comments on the last chapter! (when i tell you i almost cried-)  
> idk i've just been feeling a bit down lately bc of school stress and lack of sleep, and i was anxious about posting something like this when i didn't even have some big overarching plot all planned out & whatnot, it's just them goofin at least for now, but the amount of support i've received is just incredible <33 i've been trying to respond to all of them, but it's difficult bc of my anxiety disorder so if i miss yours just know i saw & treasured it even if i didn't respond :)
> 
> special thank you to everyone who asked questions about the story/characters/world, it makes me so happy when someone looks at something i've made and goes 'that's cool, tell me more' :) filling in any holes i've missed (like quackity's species....rip quackity) is an extra bonus djfbshd

**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** _@big crime @the arson was an accident i swear_ hey bitches sleepover tonight at phil's house

**> big crime is online**   
**> the arson was an accident i swear is online**

**big crime:** that sounds fun!

**the arson was an accident i swear:** as long as phil and your brothers don't mind, then sure

**big t:** don't worry phil's cool, wilbur suggested it and technoblade's gonna be busy all night

**the arson was an accident i swear:** have you asked phil? i just wanna make sure it's okay, i don't want to upset him or anything

**big t:** i mean yeah he always says yes, but i'll ask if it'll help you feel better

**> big t is offline**

  
**[ SLEEPY BOYS INCORPORATED ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** _@dadza_ phil phil phil

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** heya mate what's up

**big t:** tubbo and ranboo are coming over tonight since techno's gone and ranboo wants me to ask you if that's okay because of his anxiety even though you always say yes

**dadza:** of course, they're always welcome here

**big t:** POG thanks phil!!

**dadza:** no problem

**> big t is offline**

  
**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** phil said both of you are always welcome!

**the arson was an accident i swear:** thank you tommy :)

**big t:** no problem big man!!  
 **big t:** anyway techno's leaving before eight so we'll have plenty of time

**the arson was an accident i swear:** what's he doing? if you don't mind me asking

**big t:** uh dream's coming over for a bit so they're probably gonna go do regular things together

**big crime:** yeah! regular person things that regular people do, you know how it is :)

**the arson was an accident i swear:** uh  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** okay!  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** tubbo, if dream's also going to phil's house maybe he could give us a ride?

**big crime:** yeah, that's a good idea :)  
 **big crime:** why don't you ask him?

**the arson was an accident i swear:** okay!

**> the arson was an accident i swear is offline**

  
**[ TUBBO, TOMMYINNIT ]**

**> little t is online**

**little t:** THAT WAS CLOSE

**> big t is online**

**big t:** YEAH WE'RE KINDA SHIT AT THIS

**little t:** A LITTLE BIT YEAH

  
**[ DREAM, RANBOO ]**

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** hey dream :)

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** hey ranboo! what's up?

**monochrome:** tommy invited tubbo and i over for a sleepover tonight, and since you're going to hang out with techno we were wondering if you could give us a ride

**dreamon:** yeah, no problem  
 **dreamon:** do you want some help getting stuff together? i don't want you to be stressed because you're not sure what to bring to a sleepover

**monochrome:** that would be really nice, thank you dream :)

**dreamon:** yeah, of course :) i'll be over a little bit, okay?

**monochrome:** okay! see you then :)

**> monochrome is offline**

**dreamon:** yeah :)

**> dreamon is offline**

  
**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> the arson was an accident i swear is online**

**the arson was an accident i swear:** dream says he can give us a ride

**big t:** nice!! i'll see you two lads tonight then

**big crime:** yeah, see you then!

**the arson was an accident i swear:** :)

**> the arson was an accident i swear is offline**   
**> big crime is offline**   
**> big t is offline**

  
**[ L'MANBERG ]**

**> general soot is online**

**general soot:** reminder that we have a war meeting tomorrow. if anyone can't make it, please notify me or the captain beforehand so we can make allowances for your absence

**> not a furry is online**

**not a furry:** wilbur please just call it practice like everyone else

**general soot:** what was that, fundy? sorry, i couldn't hear you over the noise of me planning the agenda for the war meeting

**not a furry:** ,,why do i even still try

**general soot:** honestly at this point i don't know either

**> goddess is online**

**goddess:** oh! i thought the meeting was a day later so i promised to help ranboo with something.. i'm sorry :/

**general soot:** no that's okay niki, you let us know beforehand so it's all fine!  
 **general soot:** i'll have tubbo take notes to give you after so that you don't miss anything important

**goddess:** that would be very nice, thank you wil :)

**general soot:** of course :)  
 **general soot:** _@all_ is there anyone else who won't be able to make it?

**> captain tommy is online**   
**> tubbee is online**

**captain tommy:** nah, me and tubbo will be there!

**tubbee:** yeah :)

**general soot:** alright, that's everyone then  
 **general soot:** i'll see all of you except niki tomorrow, then

**not a furry:** okay

**> not a furry is offline**   
**> tubbee is offline**

**goddess:** have fun at the meeting :)

**> goddess is offline**   
**> captain tommy is offline**

  
**[ DREAM, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** something's been bothering me

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** what is it?

**dreamon:** i've been wondering, is it l'manberg or l'manburg?  
 **dreamon:** because i've seen you spell it both ways multiple times

**fishfucker:** ah yes i understand your confusion  
 **fishfucker:** well, it's really a quite simple answer  
 **fishfucker:** you see,

**> fishfucker is offline**

**dreamon:** HEY GET BACK HERE  
 **dreamon:** THE PEOPLE NEED ANSWERS WILBUR  
 **dreamon:** YOU CAN'T KEEP THE TRUTH FROM ME FOREVER

**> dreamon is offline**

  
**[ FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD TUBBO ]**

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** hey, uh.. is dream okay?  
 **monochrome:** because i could hear him laughing really loud from the hallway and then there was a loud thud  
 **monochrome:** he didn't stop laughing but it sounded painful

**> pyromania is online**

**pyromania:** yeah he's fine  
 **pyromania:** he was texting someone and then he started laughing and yelled 'the people need answers! you can't hide the truth forever!'  
 **pyromania:** and then he ran right into a doorframe because he tried to run while laughing too hard to see like a dumbass

**monochrome:** oh  
 **monochrome:** oh dear  
 **monochrome:** is he.. okay? like he isn't hurt too badly, right?

**pyromania:** i mean i'm not a doctor but he's just laying on the floor cackling and nothing seems broken so he's probably fine  
 **pyromania:** if he starts showing signs of a concussion or something i'll call bad but i doubt he was going fast enough for that

**monochrome:** oh, does bad have medical training?  
 **monochrome:** but still, in that case wouldn't it be better to take him to the hospital instead so professionals can check on him?

**pyromania:** i mean uh  
 **pyromania:** yeah of course, bad's just. really good at spotting concussions?

**monochrome:** oh, does he know someone who gets them a lot?

**pyromania:** yeah!  
 **pyromania:** yeah his friend uhh skeppy gets into all kinds of dumb shit, you know how it is

**monochrome:** i kinda don't but i'll take your word for it :)

**pyromania:** cool cool  
 **pyomania:** okay i should probably go make sure dream's brain wasn't damaged bye ranboo!

**> pyromania is offline**

**monochrome:** oh  
 **monochrome:** bye sapnap!  
 **monochrome:** dream, when you get back on and see this, i hope you're okay :)

**> monochrome is offline**

  
**[ BADBOYHALO, RANBOO ]**

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** hello bad!

**> muffins <3 is online**

**muffins <3:** hello!  
 **muffins <3:** how are you, ranboo?

**monochrome:** i'm doing well, thank you!  
 **monochrome:** i actually just wanted to ask how skeppy is! i think i might have read that repeated head injuries can be really serious... i don't remember where i would know that from, though

**muffins <3:** skeppy's fine!  
 **muffins <3:** ..head injuries? did something happen?

**monochrome:** someone said you know a lot about head injuries because skeppy gets a lot of concussions, and i thought 'huh, that doesn't sound good'

**muffins <3:** who told you that? since i've known him skeppy has only had one concussion, and i didn't really do any medical stuff to treat it

**monochrome:** really..? maybe i misremembered..  
 **monochrome:** let me check my recent texts and see if i can find anything

**muffins <3:** okay ^^

**monochrome:** yeah, right here sapnap said he'd call you if it turned out dream had a concussion and i asked wouldn't it be better to take him to a hospital? and sapnap said you know a lot about head injuries because skeppy gets them a lot  
 **monochrome:** is that not true?

**muffins <3:** no.. maybe sapnap misremembered, or confused skeppy for someone else?

**monochrome:** oh, that must be it :)  
 **monochrome:** good to hear that skeppy's okay, though! i'll see you later

**muffins <3:** mhm! have a good day :)

**monochrome:** you too!

**> monochrome is offline**   
**> muffins <3 is offline**

  
**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** SLEEPOVER TIME

**> big crime is online**

**big crime:** tommy there's still an hour before we'll get to your house

**big t:** okaY well it's basically time!!

**big crime:** sure, yeah :)  
 **big crime:** did you want to watch a movie? we can bring one

**big t:** yeah!! A SCARY MOVIE WE ARE BIG MEN WE CAN HANDLE IT

**big crime:** _@the arson was an accident i swear_ does that sound good to you, ranboo?

**> the arson was an accident i swear is online**

**the arson was an accident i swear:** ?  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** oh! i don't think i've ever watched a scary movie  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** not that i'd remember if i had, haha..

**big crime:** that settles it, then! we can watch one together and you can write it down so you don't forget what a fun time we'll have

**the arson was an accident i swear:** yeah, that sounds nice :)

**big t:** POG LET'S GO

**big crime:** again, tommy, there's still an hour left  
 **big crime:** ranboo, want to come help me pick a movie to bring?

**the arson was an accident i swear:** sure, just give me a minute :)

**> the arson was an accident i swear is offline**

**big crime:** okay :)  
 **big crime:** see you in a little while, tommy!

**big t:** YEAH!!

**> big crime is offline**   
**> big t is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sleepover next chapter!
> 
> not pictured: wilbur instinctively dropping his phone and diving through the wall, startling the hell out of phil in the kitchen
> 
> also bad is here now! i like him a lot tbh, he just seems like a genuinely kind person so i've given him a bit of a bigger role in the future
> 
> also more ranboo!! ik ranboo hasn't been on the dream smp for as long as most of the others, but i really like his humor and he's already becoming a bit of a comfort streamer for me  
> i just feel so Seen when he does the anxiety attacks in the panic room, like.... yes! he gets it!! the movement, repeating phrases to make them stick, sometimes not being able to talk, talking to yourself in second or third person.... it just makes me so happy bc anxiety disorders can get misrepresented pretty often. obviously i mean there's other stuff that misrepresentation is a much bigger issue for, but it just makes me so incredibly happy to see a character with anxiety similar to mine done so realistically
> 
> ok mini rant over!!
> 
> if anyone is wondering why the og dirty crime boy wilbur isn't in the dirty crime boys chat............you'll see :)
> 
> i was writing the l'manberg section and my subconscious manifested the name jack manifold...who is that... isn't he the guy who lost all three of his lives and then was like no<3 and got all of them back through sheer force of will? what is his connection to l'manberg..? who the fuck is jack manifold and why do i know his name and nothing else


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the arson was an accident i swear: oh hang on i should write the oath down in my memory book so i don't forget
> 
> big crime: yeah that's a good idea! just don't let anyone see it
> 
> the arson was an accident i swear: oh no worries i don't let people read my memory book
> 
> big crime: okay good :)
> 
> big t: so you lads gonna come help me carry these snacks or do i just gotta do it myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so fucking tired,,, no more editing what u see is what u get
> 
> sleepover time sleepover time sleepover ti
> 
> why did i start a multichap and a 5+1 in the middle of this project.... i really have shit impulse control huh
> 
> anyway i think my exhaustion is showing through so idk how coherent it is but enjoy :)

**[ DREAM, TECHNOBLADE ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** are you on your way?

**dreamon:** yeah in a bit  
 **dreamon:** as soon as i can convince these gremlins to not go straight for one of the more hardcore horror movies  
 **dreamon:** like ranboo's never even seen one before, go a bit easy before throwing him in headfirst

**knife emoji:** good luck with that  
 **knife emoji:** i ask because my own resident gremlin is getting impatient

**dreamon:** lmao good luck with that  
 **dreamon:** we're on our way, i compromised so they're bringing one more in the middle  
 **dreamon:** i'm gonna be driving so no more texting, i'll see you soon

**knife emoji:** yeah, see you in a bit

**> dreamon is offline**   
**> knife emoji is offline**

  
**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** WHERE ARE YOU GUYS

**> the arson was an accident i swear is online**

**the arson was an accident i swear:** we're on our way!  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** i'm a little nervous about the horror movie but tubbo says it's a classic so i'm sure it'll be fine :)

**big t:** oh yeah tubbo would know  
 **big t:** he gets scared pretty easily but he still watches them

**> big crime is online**

**big crime:** i do not :(

**big t:** oh so when we watched the clown movie and you grabbed me and shrieked loud enough that techno came running in because he thought we were in danger was just for fun, then?

**big crime:** it's  
 **big crime:** that's not  
 **big crime:** shusH

**big t:** yeah i rest my case

**the arson was an accident i swear:** oh boy  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** this is gonna be quite the sleepover

**big t:** HELL YEAH  
 **big t:** are you guys almost here? it's taking forever

**big crime:** we're literally turning onto your block right now calm down

**big t:** POG

**> big t is offline**

**the arson was an accident i swear:** wow he's uh  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** he's really excited, huh?

**big crime:** yeah that's just how tommy is

**the arson was an accident i swear:** yeah, that tracks

**> the arson was an accident i swear is offline**   
**> big crime is offline**

**[ TECHNOBLADE, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** heading out now  
 **knife emoji:** look after them for me?

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** of course  
 **fishfucker:** be safe

**knife emoji:** i'm always safe

**fishfucker:** mm i know a window that would disagree

**> knife emoji is offline**

**fishfucker:** lmao  
 **fishfucker:** seriously though, there's only room for one ghost in this house  
 **fishfucker:** have fun, take your repressed anger issues out on those poor minor demons :)

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** wilbur soot i Will kill you

**fishfucker:** lmao good luck with that  
 **fishfucker:** you're a little late there techno i've been dead for longer than you've been alive  
 **fishfucker:** ...i assume  
 **fishfucker:** how old even are you actually?

**knife emoji:** not nearly as young as you think

**fishfucker:** nice and ominous, thank you

**knife emoji:** i'll tell you how old i am when you tell me how you died

**fishfucker:** ...  
 **fishfucker:** well-played  
 **fishfucker:** see you when you get back

**knife emoji:** that's what i thought

**> knife emoji is offline**   
**> fishfucker is offline**

**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big crime is online**

**big crime:** talk here so we don't wake wilbur?

**> big t is online**

**big t:** seconded he get pissy when people wake him up

**> the arson was an accident i swear is online**

**the arson was an accident i swear:** okay :)

**big crime:** hey tommy why is your brother so terrifying  
 **big crime:** i don't think i'll be able to sleep tonight after watching this but he's out like a light

**big t:** yeah that's just how wilbur is  
 **big t:** he always falls asleep when we watch horror movies  
 **big t:** calls them relaxing or some shit

**the arson was an accident i swear:** ...uh

**big crime:** tommy what the hell

**big t:** i don't know????? it's just something he does  
 **big t:** you think that's bad?? pause the movie and follow me

**the arson was an accident i swear:** oh god  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** what.

**big crime:** WHAT THE FUCK????

**big t:** he eats it

**the arson was an accident:** he WHAT

**big t:** he puts in his mouth chews it and sometimes spits it back out what do you want from me

**big crime:** i want you to say this is some kind of prank and your brother doesn't actually eat sand??

**big t:** so you want me to lie to you

**big crime:** oh my god

**the arson was an accident i swear:** uh. guys?

**big crime:** what is it ranboo

**the arson was an accident i swear:** i don't.  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** i don't think that's sand.

**big t:** what are you talking about? i've seen him eat from this jar and call it sand before

**the arson was an accident i swear:** it's just  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** there's a crematorium brochure on his desk  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** and i kind of really don't want to know why it's there

**big crime:** THERE'S WHAT??

**big t:** HWAT THE FUCK  
 **big t:** I HAVE SEEN HIM EAT FROM THAT JAR BEFORE RANBOO PLEASE SAY YOU'RE JOKING

**the arson was an accident i swear:** i don't wanna touch it but you can come see for yourself

**big crime:** oh my god is there someone's ashes in that jar????  
 **big crime:** whose?? and how would he have gotten them???

**the arson was an accident i swear:** honestly? i really don't want to know  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** like okay cool, yep, mhm, gonna repress the heck out of this and pretend nothing ever happened, cool,

**big t:** oh god it's like the scene in a horror movie where the friend finds the evidence that the person is a serial killer and then they're the next to be killed  
 **big t:** are we gonna be killed is wilbur gonna kill us

**the arson was an accident i swear:** quick put everything back how it was and let's get out of here

**big crime:** yeah i agree  
 **big crime:** we must swear never to speak of this to anyone  
 **big crime:** except the conspiracy groupchat because oh my god

**big t:** i swear to never speak of this to anyone except the conspiracy groupchat because oh my god  
 **big t:** now you ranboo  
 **big t:** word for word

**the arson was an accident i swear:** uhh i swear never to speak of this to anyone except the conspiracy groupchat because oh my god  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** is that okay did i do it right?

**big crime:** you did great ranboo  
 **big crime:** honestly i don't think i can go back in the living room again.. that's where he is

**big t:** it's fine! we'll get snacks from phil and relocate to my room so even if wil wakes up he won't bother us  
 **big t:** let's try and forget for tonight, and we'll bring this up to the groupchat tomorrow once we're more mentally prepared

**the arson was an accident i swear:** okay, that sounds good  
 **the arson was an accident i swear:** oh hang on i should write the oath down in my memory book so i don't forget

**big crime:** yeah that's a good idea! just don't let anyone see it

**the arson was an accident i swear:** oh no worries i don't let people read my memory book

**big crime:** okay good :)

**big t:** so you lads gonna come help me carry these snacks or do i just gotta do it myself

**the arson was an accident i swear:** on our way!

**> the arson was an accident i swear is offline**   
**> big crime is offline**

**[ TOMMY, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** you know, you aren't very good at being quiet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are those ashes?  
> yes.
> 
> are they human ashes?  
> not quite.
> 
> does wilbur actually eat them?  
> what do you think is the answer? :)
> 
> anyway this whole thing was based on that one stream of phil's where wilbur was talking about eating sand and when asked where he was getting the sand one of his answers was 'crematoriums'


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ TOMMYINNIT, WILBUR SOOT ]
> 
> > big t is online
> 
> big t: i dont know what you mean!!
> 
> > big t is offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> starting buildup for the celestial arc! (yes, i named them all) :) i'm super excited to share what i have planned with y'all skbdfdhsfb

**[ TOMMYINNIT, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** i dont know what you mean!!

**> big t is offline**

**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** GUYS HE KNOWS THIS IS NOT A DRILL HE FUCKING KNOWS

**[ TOMMYINNIT, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** really :)  
**fishfucker:** so if i go over to my desk right now  
**fishfucker:** i won't find my sand jar moved from its position?

**> big t is online**

**big t:** uh  
**big t:** no! i mean maybe but if you do it wasn't us

 **fishfucker:** tommy i was woken up last night by tubbo whisper-yelling 'sand?? SAND??????' do you really think i can't put the pieces together

 **big t:** i don't know what you're talking about!

**> big t is offline**

  
**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big crime is online**

**big crime:** WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE KNOWS

**> big t is online**

**big t:** I MEAN HE KNOWS?? HE TEXTED ME ABOUT IT LAST NIGHT I JUST DIDN'T SEE IT TIL NOW

 **big crime:** WHAT DID YOU SAY???

**> the arson was an accident i swear is online**

**big t:** I SAID I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT BUT I DON'T THINK HE BELIEVES ME

 **the arson was an accident i swear:** i mean i probably wouldn't believe you either  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** what are we talking about?

 **big crime:** scroll up to last night

t **he arson was an accident i swear:** oh  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** OH  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** oh no

 **big crime:** yeah

 **the arson was an accident i swear:** that's not good  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** is he mad??

 **big t:** idk let me ask

**> big t is offline**

**[ TOMMYINNIT, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** so let's say i did know what you're talking about  
**big t:** hypothetically, would you be mad? because it's not ranboo or tubbo's faults, i made them go look

 **fishfucker:** oh i'm not super mad  
**fishfucker:** i'm really not happy about you messing with my stuff in my room without permission, but that just means i have something to hold over your head  
**fishfucker:** but i'm not going to do anything to ranboo, if that's what you're worried about  
**fishfucker:** i can't even swear around him without feeling guilty, and you think i could plot some kind of revenge?

 **big t:** yeah that's fair  
**big t:** what about me and tubbo though?

 **fishfucker:** :)

**> fishfucker is offline**

**big t:** oh god

**> big t is offline**

**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** BAD NEWS TUBBO

 **big crime:** oh god

 **big t:** ranboo ur fine, he says he doesn't blame you

 **the arson was an accident i swear:** oh! okay, that's a relief  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** what about you two, though?

 **big t:** i asked!! he just  
**big t:** :)

 **big crime:** oh god

 **the arson was an accident i swear:** oh no  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** do you think it would help if i talked to him?

 **big crime:** ranboo you're so brave  
**big crime:** honestly it couldn't hurt

 **big t:** godspeed

**> the arson was an accident i swear is offline**

**[ RANBOO, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** hello!

**> ok child is online**

**ok child:** hey ranboo  
**ok child:** what's up?

 **monochrome:** so i know you're kinda upset at tommy and tubbo  
**monochrome:** but i really think if you're mad at them you should be mad at me too  
**monochrome:** i went in your room without asking too, and i was the one who found the crematorium brochure  
**monochrome:** which i desire absolutely zero additional information about, by the way  
**monochrome:** tommy might have suggested it but we all went along with it so really we're all equally guilty

 **ok child:** hhhh fine  
**ok child:** you make a fair point, ranboo  
**ok child:** i won't do anything to tommy or tubbo either, then, but i reserve the right to hold this over tommy's head indefinitely

 **monochrome:** oh yeah no that's totally fair  
**monochrome:** thanks :) you're pretty cool, wilbur

**> monochrome is offline**

**ok child:** thanks ranboo :) you are too

**> ok child is offline**

**[ SLEEPY BOYS INCORPORATED ]**

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** PHIL PHIL

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** yeah mate?

**> knife emoji is online**

**fishfucker:** RANBOO SAID I"M PRETTY COOL I'M KJDBFHSL

 **dadza:** aw, congrats!

 **knife emoji:** ah  
**knife emoji:** is that why you're currently halfway through the ceiling

 **fishfucker:** perhaps

 **knife emoji:** well stop before the kids come down for breakfast and see you inside the hallway floor  
**knife emoji:** also put your human skin back on

 **dadza:** gods that sounds so weird out of context

 **fishfucker:** hah you're just jealous ranboo said i'm pretty cool and not you  
**fishfucker:** i've got the big brother rights now

 **knife emoji:** fuck off your username is a joke about intercourse with a fish

 **fishfucker:** not in the chats with ranboo! i'm incredibly mature, thank you

 **knife emoji:** that'll be the day

 **fishfucker:** you want to take this outside?

 **dadza:** okay NO duels before breakfast or while tommy has friends over  
**dadza:** it's be a little hard to explain to ranboo why exactly wil is intangible and techno can do shit like walk off a fatal injury  
**dadza:** not to mention how fuckin long it takes to clean up all the blood

 **fishfucker:** yeah that's fair  
**fishfucker:** meet me in the pit later?

 **knife emoji:** anytime

 **dadza:** fucks sake i'm not dealing with this  
**dadza:** don't level the city

 **knife emoji:** we'll do our best

**> dadza is offline**

**fishfucker:** so  
**fishfucker:** hypothetically  
**fishfucker:** if we WERE to level the city,,,

**> knife emoji is offline**

**fishfucker:** lmao

**> fishfucker is offline**

**[ DIRTY CRIME BOYS ]**

**> the arson was an accident i swear is online**

**the arson was an accident i swear:** good news guys!  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** wilbur said he won't do anything to you two either, as long as he can still hold it over tommy's head indefinitely

 **big t:** heY

 **big crime:** oh my god ranboo you're like an actual hero

 **big t:** yeah, thanks ranboo

 **the arson was an accident i swear:** i didn't really do much, but thanks :)

 **big t:** maybe, but you still saved me and tubbo from wilbur's wrath

 **the arson was an accident i swear:** thanks guys :)  
**the arson was an accident i swear:** does anyone else smell that?

 **big t:** i think phil made waffles???  
**big t:** POG let's go!!

**> big t is offline**

**big crime:** WAIT FOR US???

**> big crime is offline**

**> the arson was an accident i swear is offline**

**[ DREAM, TECHNOBLADE ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** hey  
**dreamon:** is ranboo okay?

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** yeah, he's having a good time  
**knife emoji:** why?

 **dreamon:** george got some weird vibes  
**dreamon:** he says he's picking up on something dangerous, and it involves ranboo somehow  
**dreamon:** i talked to bad and he's nervous, didn't get much out of him but he said it's taking more effort to keep ranboo hidden than before, as if something is actively looking

 **knife emoji:** well, that's ominous

 **dreamon:** yeah  
**dreamon:** could you just keep an eye on him for me when i'm not there? it'd make me feel a lot better

 **knife emoji:** yeah  
**knife emoji:** i'll tell phil too, you know the only reason he hasn't linked the kid yet is because he's respecting bad's prior claim  
**knife emoji:** i think the two of them should talk, though. with ranboo's heritage, both of them shielding him will work better than one

 **dreamon:** i'll bring it up, but you know how bad is about this stuff

 **knife emoji:** yeah  
**knife emoji:** you gonna be looking into this?

 **dreamon:** of course. you in?

 **knife emoji:** naturally  
**knife emoji:** give me twenty minutes to brief phil and get to your place

 **dreamon:** will do  
**dreamon:** thanks, techno. it means a lot

 **knife emoji:** ..yeah  
**knife emoji:** you'd do the same for me

 **dreamon:** yeah  
**dreamon:** love you say it back

**> knife emoji is offline**

**dreamon:** :)

**> dreamon is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me looking @ where i said i'd try to keep the angst light and then at my plans for future arcs: ,,,,whoops
> 
> mission failed, we'll get 'em next time (i say, knowing full well this happens every time i write) :')


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dreamon: i know  
> dreamon: still, it's nice to have our funky vibe scanner with us
> 
> fishfucker: ...  
> fishfucker: ..you think i'm funky?
> 
> dreamon: the funkiest :)
> 
> fishfucker: dream... :'D
> 
> knife emoji: can we get back on track please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've got a fun chapter today :)
> 
> also i haven't seen the season finale i'm watching tommy's vod later today after school and skfbhsf whatever happens i guarantee i'm gonna cry everything's been so built up and whichever way the cards fall, it'll hurt but i'm sure it'll be just as amazing as the rest of this emotionally devastating geopolitical minecraft roleplay :'

**[ TOMMYINNIT, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** hey bitch where'd you go

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** out with tech and dream, why?

 **big t:** i was wondering why i haven't seen you today  
**big t:** why are you out with them? what, are you joining them for hunts now or something?  
**big t:** because that's SO unfair, i want to go but they never let me, how come you get to???

 **fishfucker:** not really  
**fishfucker:** just helping with this one case  
**fishfucker:** and you know you're like. twelve right??? of course you can't go hunting

 **big t:** I'M SIXTEEN FUCK YOU

 **fishfucker:** ok child

 **big t:** I AM A VERY BIG MAN HOW DARE YOU  
**big t:** I AM NOT A FUCKIGN CHILD

 **fishfucker:** fuckign  
**fishfucker:** also, language

 **big t:** YOU LITERALLY HAVE THE WORD FUCK IN YOUR USERNAME???? WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO WATCH MY LANGUAGE

 **fishfucker:** mmm yeah but i'm an adult  
**fishfucker:** children shouldn't swear

 **big t:** I'M NOT A FUCKING CHILD  
**big t:** besides, who's worse, the kid swearing, or the person who taught the kid swear words?

 **fishfucker:** so you admit you're a kid?

 **big t:** NO

 **fishfucker:** ok child  
**fishfucker:** wait, i just picked up on something. gotta go

**> fishfucker is offline**

**big t:** this conversation is not fucking over wilbur!!  
**big t:** we are talking when you get back!!!

**> big t is offline**

**[ BADBOYHALO, DREAM ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** bad, you on?

**> muffins <3 is online**

**muffins <3:** yeah  
**muffins <3:** hello dream :)

 **dreamon:** hey  
**dreamon:** skeppy said you're not doing so great

 **muffins <3:** what?? don't listen to that silly muffin, he's a worrywart  
**muffins <3:** i'm fine! :)

 **dreamon:** bad your lifeforce is linked with skeppy's  
**dreamon:** when something's wrong, he's the first to know

 **muffins <3:** okay maybe i'm feeling a little under the weather, but i really am fine, dream  
**muffins <3:** it's probably nothing

 **dreamon:** from how skeppy described you, i'd hardly call whatever's happening nothing!  
**dreamon:** just... talk to me, bad. we're friends, i care about you

 **muffins <3:** ...i know.  
**muffins <3:** it's the wards around ranboo  
**muffins <3:** whatever is looking for him is... incredibly powerful. more than me by a long shot  
**muffins <3:** just keeping him hidden is taking everything i've got  
**muffins <3:** i'll be fine, though, so you don't have to worry! i can't die as long as skeppy's alive, remember?  
**muffins <3:** i'll keep him safe, so it's fine :)

 **dreamon:** bad... of course i want ranboo safe, but i don't want you to get hurt in the process!  
**dreamon:** i think you should talk to phil

 **muffins <3:** no.

 **dreamon:** he can help reinforce the wards so it'll drain from you less  
**dreamon:** ..have you been using your lifeforce?

 **muffins <3:** of course not!  
**muffins <3:** it's linked with skeppy, remember? i'd never put him in danger like that

 **dreamon:** thank fuck for that, at least  
**dreamon:** if it wasn't linked, would you have?

 **muffins <3:** if it wasn't linked i wouldn't be in the human world, so i think it's kind of a moot point

 **dreamon:** ...talk to phil. please.

 **muffins <3:** you know why i can't, dream  
**muffins <3:** he never fell, even though he's on earth. do you really think he'd want to talk to something like me?

 **dreamon:** phil's not like that, bad  
**dreamon:** and you know you didn't do anything wrong

 **muffins <3:** the celestial king disagrees

 **dreamon:** well, the celestial king isn't here and doesn't get a say

 **muffins <3:** look, dream, i'm.. weak right now. i don't.. i don't really feel comfortable letting anyone but maybe skeppy see me like this  
**muffins <3:** especially not a celestial

 **dreamon:** phil's a good guy, i promise  
**dreamon:** do you know he wants to link ranboo? he hasn't because he's respecting your prior claim. does that sound like the kind of celestial you're worried about?

 **muffins <3:** ..no. no, it doesn't  
**muffins <3:** i'll think about it, okay?

 **dreamon:** okay  
**dreamon:** thank you, bad. for protecting ranboo, and everything

 **muffins <3:** of course, you silly muffin  
**muffins <3:** he's a good kid, you asking wasn't the only reason i claimed him  
**muffins <3:** you're investigating, right? be careful  
**muffins <3:** whoever these guys are, they're bad news

 **dreamon:** i will  
**dreamon:** get some rest, okay? ranboo's at phil's house right now, and that place is like a supernatural panic room with how well-protected it is

 **muffins <3:** i'll try

 **dreamon:** that's all i ask

**> dreamon is offline**  
**> muffins <3 is offline**

**[ new chat ]**

**> fishfucker has created a new chat group**  
**> fishfucker has renamed the chat INVESTIGAYTION**

**[ INVESTIGAYTION ]**

**> fishfucker has added dreamon and knife emoji to the chat**

**fishfucker:** we have to split up to cover more ground, right?  
**fishfucker:** and i'm getting some seriously weird vibes, so i think we should keep each other updated here in case anything happens  
**fishfucker:** check in every ten minutes, and if anyone misses it we go to where they were last?

 **knife emoji:** works for me

 **dreamon:** yeah, same  
**dreamon:** you know, you never come hunting with us so i always forget how good at planning stuff out you are

 **fishfucker:** thanks :)  
**fishfucker:** i'm really not interested in the actual hunting, though  
**fishfucker:** i'm really only here because it's just investigation, not confrontation

 **dreamon:** i know  
**dreamon:** still, it's nice to have our funky vibe scanner with us

 **fishfucker:** ...  
**fishfucker:** ..you think i'm funky?

 **dreamon:** the funkiest :)

 **fishfucker:** dream... :'D

 **knife emoji:** can we get back on track please

 **fishfucker:** right, right  
**fishfucker:** see you here in ten minutes, then

**> fishfucker is offline**  
**> knife emoji is offline**  
**> dreamon is offline**

**[ TUBBO, TOMMYINNIT ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** hey tubbo  
**big t:** i gotta talk to you about something

**> little t is online**

**little t:** hm? what's up?

 **big t:** so phil was gonna talk to you about this later but i figured i can obviously do it better and also thought you'd appreciate a heads-up

 **little t:** you're making me anxious tommy, what's going on?

 **big t:** WELL you know how phil has this whole thing where he links people to be under his protection and gives them a safe place to live

 **little t:** yeah..?

 **big t:** well he kinda wants to link you too, has for a while now  
**big t:** but he won't do it without your permission since it's kinda like adoption  
**big t:** so then we'd really be brothers

 **little t:** that's.. a lot. wow.  
**little t:** can i.. like, can i think about it for a bit first? it's just..

 **big t:** yeah, of course! it's a big thing, don't go rushing in  
**big t:** i lived with phil for months before he linked me, he doesn't mind

 **little t:** and.. would i have to leave the apartment and come live in phil's house?

 **big t:** nah, the house'll set you up a room but you wouldn't even have to go in it if you don't want  
**big t:** i'll be honest it's mostly a protection thing. like it tells him if any of us are in danger so he can come help, that sort of thing

 **little t:** then.. okay. as long as i can still live with ranboo and the others, then i'm okay with that :)

 **big t:** POG this is gonna be awesome! we're gonna be real actual brothers, tubbo!

 **little t:** yeah :)

 **big t:** okay i'm gonna tell phil!  
**big t:** are you okay with getting linked now or would you rather wait a bit?

 **little t:** ..now, i think, before i get anxious and overthink things

 **big t:** okay! :)

 **little t:** :)

**> big t is offline**

**[ SLEEPY BOYS INCORPORATED ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** PHIL TUBBO SAID YEAH

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** said yeah to what?  
**dadza:** do you mean- wasn't i supposed to ask?

 **big t:** yeah but i figured i could do it better  
**big t:** he doesn't wanna move in but he said he's okay being linked :)

 **dadza:** nice :)  
**dadza:** when does he want to be linked?

 **big t:** he said now's fine!

 **dadza:** alright, i'll be right there

**> dadza is offline**

**big t:** new brother... yessss >:)

**> big t is offline**

**[ INVESTIGAYTION ]**

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** same as before, no leads here  
**fishfucker:** it's hard getting a specific read on the vibes normally, but this...

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** is there something more going on?

 **fishfucker:** yeah, i think so  
**fishfucker:** it keeps moving, and i keep almost losing it and then finding it again  
**fishfucker:** that's not the weirdest part, though

 **knife emoji:** ?

 **fishfucker:** the vibes are... familiar..

 **knife emoji:** wilbur soot i swear to god stop being so dramatic and just say whatever you have to say

 **fishfucker:** sorry. not on purpose this time  
**fishfucker:** it's really distracting..  
**fishfucker:** tech, the vibes feel like.. safety. like home

 **knife emoji:** what does that mean, exactly?

 **fishfucker:** what i'm picking up on,, it's really similar to phil  
**fishfucker:** tech, i think we're looking for celestials

 **knife emoji:** ..shit.

 **fishfucker:** yeah.

 **knife emoji:** ..dream hasn't checked in. and he's a demon, do you think..

 **fishfucker:** oh shit  
**fishfucker:** yeah, if he hasn't responded he might have been caught  
**fishfucker:** i'm closer to where he last said he was, i'll go and see if i can pick up his trail  
**fishfucker:** if he has been cornered by celestials..

 **knife emoji:** no time to waste  
**knife emoji:** just go, i'll follow you when i get there

**> fishfucker is offline**

**knife emoji:** and don't take any unnecessary risks, got it?  
**knife emoji:** fuck

**> knife emoji is offline**

**[ PHILZA, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** wil? what's going on?  
**dadza:** i can feel something is wrong, but the link is blocked somehow, i can't get to you  
**dadza:** please be okay  
**dadza:** wil?

**> dadza is calling**  
**> dadza is calling**

**dadza:** ..shit.

**> dadza is offline**

**[ INVESTIGAYTION ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** fuck fuck fuck  
**dreamon:** _@knife emoji_ techno problem!

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** where the hell are you two?

 **dreamon:** near the mall, west side  
**dreamon:** something's wrong, techno

 **knife emoji:** no shit??

 **dreamon:** not that i'm serious here  
**dreamon:** it's celestials we're hunting, i found one of them and read their memories  
**dreamon:** techno what the hell is going on? how is wilbur strong enough to possess a fucking celestial?

 **knife emoji:** he what??  
**knife emoji:** where is he now, is he with you

 **dreamon:** yeah, but he's not responsive  
**dreamon:** he couldn't stay in their body long, i think, but he made them pass out before leaving  
**dreamon:** techno, isn't wilbur a poltergeist? possessing living things isn't even his area, how the fuck did he possess a celestial??

 **knife emoji:** i don't know, okay?  
**knife emoji:** that shouldn't be possible even for a high-level ghost, and i don't know what he's done to make it happen  
**knife emoji:** and there'll be plenty of time to ponder that later when my twin brother isn't fucking unconscious in a mall parking lot

 **dreamon:** he's conscious, he's just not responding  
**dreamon:** ..i can't touch him, either  
**dreamon:** techno, whatever he did used a massive amount of power  
**dreamon:** if we don't get him to phil's house soon, he might fade

 **knife emoji:** i'm almost there  
**knife emoji:** i'll call phil, just keep him present if you can

 **dreamon:** how? he's intangible and not responding to a word i say

 **knife emoji:** keep talking anyway. give him something to focus on, keep him grounded

 **dreamon:** okay  
**dreamon:** but hurry

**> dreamon is offline**  
**> knife emoji is offline**

**[ PHIL, TECHNOBLADE ]**

**> knife emoji is online**  
**> knife emoji is calling**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhey,,, so you remember how i said my personal challenge for this fic was to keep the angst light...? hhaha yeah about that,,,,, i mmay have needed to update the tags....
> 
> uhhh take tubbo joining the family and finally becoming an official brother as an apology for what i've just done and will continue to do to wilbur :' boy's in for a rough ride
> 
> i said it was gonna be a fun chapter. i didn't say who it would be fun for :)
> 
> thanks for reading!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > monochrome is online
> 
> monochrome: hey, uh  
> monochrome: bit of a difficult question, but um  
> monochrome: ...  
> monochrome: nevermind! nevermind  
> monochrome: i hope wilbur's okay
> 
> > monochrome is offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a fair amount happens in this chapter, i tried not to make it super angsty since i have Plans and it'll hurt more if things are... almost okay for a while :)
> 
> anyway for those of you who prefer fluff/humor, wilbur wakes up next chapter! for those of you who are into angst... waking up doesn't mean he's alright :))
> 
> sO ABOUT THAT SEASON FINALE HUH  
> HHHHOLY SHIT

**[ DREAM, RANBOO ]**

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** hey, uh  
**monochrome:** bit of a difficult question, but um  
**monochrome:** ...  
**monochrome:** nevermind! nevermind  
**monochrome:** i hope wilbur's okay

**> monochrome is offline**

**[ DO THE SAFETY DANCE ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**dreamon:** techno, how is he?

 **knife emoji:** not good  
**knife emoji:** _@all_

**> muffins <3 is online**  
**> goddess is online**  
**> bicon is online**

**goddess:** what's going on?

 **muffins <3:** dream?  
**muffins <3:** if you're using this chat, i'm guessing something went wrong during your investigation?

 **bicon:** investigation?

 **dreamon:** someone's been looking for ranboo, we went to find out who  
**dreamon:** me, techno, and wilbur, i mean

 **knife emoji:** they're celestials.

 **muffins <3:** ...what?

 **knife emoji:** celestials are looking for ranboo, and i'm sure everyone here can guess why

 **bicon:** ...to kill him for being half demon, half celestial.

 **goddess:** oh, no.. is he okay?  
**goddess:** wait, shouldn't we wait for wil to log on?

 **knife emoji:** ranboo's fine. wil isn't

 **bicon:** what's wrong with him?

 **knife emoji:** not sure, but he's basically catatonic. phil's with him now

 **goddess:** what happened?

 **dreamon:** i'll try and explain, but it's a bit...  
**dreamon:** i found one of the people following the false trail i set and read their memories, finding out they're a celestial  
**dreamon:** they spotted me and i ran, but i couldn't get away. they were about to kill me, and then suddenly wilbur was there, and then suddenly he wasn't?  
**dreamon:** and the celestial froze, and told me to run in wilbur's voice  
**dreamon:** so i did, and i looked back to see the celestial collapse and wilbur fall out of its body  
**dreamon:** i doubled back and got him out of there, and we hid until techno found us  
**dreamon:** after possessing the celestial he was intangible and unresponsive, and i think if we had gotten him to phil any later he would've faded completely

 **bicon:** oh god..

 **goddess:** how is he now? any change?

 **knife emoji:** he isn't actively fading anymore, but he hasn't gotten better either

 **dreamon:** ...bad? you've been really quiet, are you okay?

 **muffins <3:** ...i don't know  
**muffins <3:** techno, is it alright if i come over? i don't know if healing will help, but i'm willing to try and i know it isn't phil's strong suit

 **knife emoji:** yeah. thanks, bad

 **muffins <3:** okay. i'm on my way.

**> muffins <3: is offline**

**bicon:** is there anything we can do?

 **knife emoji:** for wil, probably not  
**knife emoji:** but ranboo will need both of you looking out for him

 **goddess:** okay. we'll keep him safe

 **dreamon:** thank you  
**dreamon:** i'll be back as soon as i can  
**dreamon:** is he in the apartment?

 **bicon:** yeah, i picked him up about an hour ago

 **dreamon:** okay, good. thank you, eret

 **bicon:** it's no problem. he's a good kid

**> dreamon is offline**  
**> bicon is offline**

**goddess:** techno?

 **knife emoji:** yeah

 **goddess:** do you think wil's gonna be okay?

 **knife emoji:** i hope so

**> knife emoji is offline**  
**> goddess is offline**

**[ DREAM, RANBOO ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** hey, sorry about the late response, i just saw this  
**dreamon:** are you okay, ranboo? whatever's going on sounds pretty serious

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** um, kinda? not really, i guess  
**monochrome:** i just have a really confusing question, and i trust you to be honest with me

 **dreamon:** of course  
**dreamon:** what's up, ranboo?

 **monochrome:** how do i say this,,  
**monochrome:** you're.. not human, are you?

 **dreamon:** ..  
**dreamon:** no, i'm not

 **monochrome:** and.. i'm not, either, right?

 **dreamon:** no, you're not human

 **monochrome:** then.. what am i?

 **dreamon:** well. you're part celestial, like phil, and part dreamon, like me

 **monochrome:** wait, dreamon is the name of a species?  
**monochrome:** so your username is just. the equivalent of someone having the username 'human'?

 **dreamon:** ,,,maybe,,,,,,  
**dreamon:** i can tell you more about our heritage, but it's.. really an in-person kind of conversation

 **monochrome:** yeah no i get that  
**monochrome:** this is just. kind of a lot??  
**monochrome:** like i've been suspicious for a while, but having confimation is something else entirely

 **dreamon:** yeah, it can be overwhelming at first  
**dreamon:** i'll be home soon, just wait a bit and i promise i'll answer all your questions

 **monochrome:** okay  
**monochrome:** thanks, dream  
**monochrome:** for telling me the truth

 **dreamon:** you're welcome  
**dreamon:** see you in a bit, kiddo

**> dreamon is offline**  
**> monochrome is offline**

**[ BADBOYHALO, PHIL ]**

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** thanks for your help today

**> muffins <3 is online**

**muffins <3:** it's no trouble  
**muffins <3:** is he doing any better?

 **dadza:** he's more stable, at least  
**dadza:** he's siphoning some of the house's energy, so i think he'll just be out until he has enough to manifest again  
**dadza:** and we're all keeping an eye on him just in case  
**dadza:** the energy you transferred helped a lot

 **muffins <3:** that's good to hear :)

 **dadza:** sorry if i'm pushing it, but are you alright, mate?  
**dadza:** you were looking a little shaky when you left

 **muffins <3:** i'm fine! just a little tired from keeping up the wards on ranboo. it's nothing a little rest can't fix

 **dadza:** alright, if you say so  
**dadza:** but if you ever need anything, just ask, alright?  
**dadza:** even if it's just staying in the house a few hours to soak up energy or something

 **muffins <3:** you'd.. be alright with that?

 **dadza:** course, i offered didn't i?  
**dadza:** why wouldn't i be?

 **muffins <3:** because i'm.. y'know. and you're not.

 **dadza:** because i'm a celestial, and you fell?

 **muffins <3:** ..yeah.

 **dadza:** do you know why i left the celestial realm?

 **muffins <3:** it was to look after earth, right?

 **dadza:** partially, but not quite  
**dadza:** i saw what the celestial king was doing, how it was justified by the law, and it sickened me  
**dadza:** i don't know why you fell, bad. i can hazard a guess, but i'm not going to pry  
**dadza:** but i know you can still heal, and i know you just used that ability to help save my son  
**dadza:** in the end, that's all that really matters to me

 **muffins <3:** ...you can guess? i thought records of me were erased..

 **dadza:** i am older than you, yknow. i was out working when your trial happened, but i still heard about it. i don't know what was true and what wasn't, but i remember thinking it wasn't fair

 **muffins <3:** phil, i broke the most central law of the celestial realm. how could my punishment not be fair?

 **dadza:** it's not about what you did, bad. it's about why you did it  
**dadza:** you broke the central tenent of celestial society, to always fully enact justice according to the law, and if i remember correctly, also the law about showing no mercy to the wicked

 **muffins <3:** ...yeah. yeah, i did  
**muffins <3:** they were just petty thieves, phil. pickpockets and street kids. i couldn't do nothing while people, kind people who loved each other, were punished for just trying to survive  
**muffins <3:** i pleaded their case with the celestial king, and even when he ordered me directly not to interfere, i still protected them from the volcano  
**muffins <3:** i went against everything it means to be a celestial, phil, how could i be in the right?

 **dadza:** let me ask you something  
**dadza:** do you regret it?  
**dadza:** if you had to do it all over again, would you choose differently?

 **muffins <3:** ...no.  
**muffins <3:** but doesn't that make it worse, that i'm not sorry?

 **dadza:** mate, you don't need to be sorry for saving people  
**dadza:** you didn't follow the law, but you did what was right. and you know what?

 **muffins <3:** what?

 **dadza:** the celestial king can suck it

 **muffins <3:** language!

 **dadza:** sorry, but you get what i mean  
**dadza:** he's been around for a very long time, and he's wise, but that doesn't make him right  
**dadza:** you weren't wrong, bad. the law was.

 **muffins <3:** i... thank you, phil.  
**muffins <3:** that means a lot to me

 **dadza:** course, mate  
**dadza:** would you like to spend the night at the house? it'll help speed up the process of regaining energy

 **muffins <3:** ..would it be alright if skeppy came too?

 **dadza:** sure thing, the more the merrier

 **muffins <3:** then.. thank you. i'll take you up on that  
**muffins <3:** ..when i get there, i think we should talk about ranboo. i don't think i can keep him safe by myself, phil, as much as i hate to admit it

 **dadza:** yeah, we'll do that  
**dadza:** he's a good kid, and you've been a good guardian for a long time. it's okay to need a little help, and i'm more than willing to provide whatever assistance you need

 **muffins <3:** thank you, phil

 **dadza:** you're welcome :)  
**dadza:** see you soon?

 **muffins <3:** yeah, see you in a bit :)

**> muffins <3 is offline**  
**> dadza is offline**

**[ OFFICIAL ADOPTEES ]**

**> gremlin is online**  
**> gremlin added tubbee to the chat**

**gremlin:** welcome to the family, big man! you get to be in this chat now

**> tubbee is online**

**tubbee:** oh, wow  
**tubbee:** thanks, tommy :)  
**tubbee:** how is wilbur?

 **gremlin:** phil says he's sleeping to regain energy or whatever  
**gremlin:** he says he'll be fine though, apparently badboyhalo came over to help

 **tubbee:** oh, that's good  
**tubbee:** i can heal too, d'you think it would help him wake up faster?

 **gremlin:** dunno, but we can ask phil!

 **tubbee:** okay :)

**> tubbee is offline**  
**> gremlin is offline**

**[ PHIL, TECHNOBLADE ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** phil?

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** hey, mate. what's up?

 **knife emoji:** something's been bothering me  
**knife emoji:** you've seen a lot, right? have you ever seen a poltergeist possess a celestial?

 **dadza:** no, i haven't  
**dadza:** poltergeists deal in telekinesis and interacting with the physical world around them, but possessing living things isn't their area. and for a celestial to be possessed at all... that takes more strength than any regular ghost should have

 **knife emoji:** so then how did wil do it?

 **dadza:** i really don't know, son  
**dadza:** i think i can guess, but it's not my place to tell, especially since i'm not sure  
**dadza:** if i'm right, he's set himself back a lot, but it shouldn't be permanent as long as he's careful

 **knife emoji:** set himself back..? back from what?

 **dadza:** again, not my place to say  
**dadza:** i know you're worried. i am too.  
**dadza:** we'll both keep an eye out for him, alright? he can explain when he wakes up

 **knife emoji:** ..okay  
**knife emoji:** thanks, phil

 **dadza:** no trouble  
**dadza:** get some rest, okay? i'll watch wil tonight and you can tomorrow

 **knife emoji:** you'll get me if anything happens, right?

 **dadza:** yeah, sure thing

 **knife emoji:** okay  
**knife emoji:** goodnight, phil

 **dadza:** night son

**> knife emoji is offline**  
**> dadza is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you have any questions abt the last couple chapters- celestial society, phil's house, the significance of the terms link vs claim, or anything else, feel free to ask!
> 
> also,, can i take a vote? so dream explained dreamons to ranboo offscreen (offpage?) and i could have him do the same with other races, or i could add it in throughout future chapters. the reason i'm hesitating is because that's pretty blatant exposition, and i know some people don't like that. so i guess let me know if that's something you'd like to see? obviously there'd be no spoilers and it won't change the plot either way, it's just worldbuilding stuff lmao :'


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > dreamon is online
> 
> dreamon: hey, ranboo  
> dreamon: bit of a serious thing i need tell you
> 
> > monochrome is online
> 
> monochrome: ?  
> monochrome: everything okay, dream?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not super confident abt this chapter,,, i wrote it today but today kinda sucked and i feel like that's reflected in the writing? idk
> 
> anyway wilbur wakes up and people start moving into phil's house pog
> 
> every time i write someone being considerate of ranboo's anxiety my lifespan increases by 5.7 months

**[ DREAM, RANBOO ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** hey, ranboo  
**dreamon:** bit of a serious thing i need tell you

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** ?  
**monochrome:** everything okay, dream?

 **dreamon:** kind of?  
**dreamon:** so, do you remember how we talked a bit about celestials? exist to uphold the law, guardians of the realms, closest thing to biblical angels that isn't fictional?

 **monochrome:** um  
**monochrome:** yeah! yeah, i wrote it down

 **dreamon:** good thinking :)  
**dreamon:** anyway, uh  
**dreamon:** remember how i said they have this whole thing about 'purity' and stuff? well, demons are the natural enemies of celestials. a demon and a celestial having a kid.. isn't something that's supposed to happen

 **monochrome:** oh

 **dreamon:** not like that! i, for one, am very glad you exist

 **monochrome:** thanks :) i am too

 **dreamon:** :)  
**dreamon:** anyway, what i'm trying to say is that a lot of celestials and some more powerful demons aren't going to like that you exist  
**dreamon:** bad's been shielding you ever since we found you, but lately it hasn't been enough.

  
**monochrome:** ...oh  
**monochrome:** does this have something to do with what happened to wilbur? because he just kinda vanished right around when everyone seemed to be getting all worried about my safety

 **dreamon:** yeah. yeah, it does  
**dreamon:** you're pretty perceptive, ranboo  
**dreamon:** we ran into a group of celestials looking for you, and wilbur got hurt saving me

 **monochrome:** oh. oh no  
**monochrome:** is he okay? because i haven't seen him in almost a week

 **dreamon:** he hasn't woken up yet, but he is getting better so i'm sure he'll be fine

 **monochrome:** well.. okay, if you say so  
**monochrome:** i trust you

 **dreamon:** thank you, ranboo  
**dreamon:** anyway, like i was saying, there are some celestials looking for you and they're not friendly, so it really isn't safe for you to be alone right now  
**dreamon:** which leads me to the important part. would you be alright with staying at phil's house for a while, until we've dealt with this? you'll be safer there, since you'll have phil looking out for you  
**dreamon:** and if you're okay with it, bad will be staying there too to keep you safe

 **monochrome:** oh.. are the celestials that dangerous?

 **dreamon:** ..yeah. yeah, they are. i don't think i could beat one head-on, though that's partially because my abilities are mostly noncombat

 **monochrome:** i see  
**monochrome:** it's just.. if phil's okay with it, could you stay with me too?  
**monochrome:** i'm just used to having you around i guess, and if celestials are that powerful i don't want you to get hurt either

 **dreamon:** i'm sure that would be fine. would you like me to ask phil and make sure?

 **monochrome:** that would be reassuring, yeah

 **dreamon:** okay, sure thing :)

**> dreamon is offline**

**[ DREAM, PHIL ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** hey, ranboo said he's okay staying with you  
**dreamon:** would it be alright if i stayed over too? ranboo said he's worried, and i want to be there for him

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** of course, mate  
**dadza:** i'll get rooms next to each other for you two, how's that sound?

 **dreamon:** that sounds great, thank you phil

 **dadza:** course

**> dreamon is offline**

**[ DREAM, RANBOO ]**

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** phil said it's alright, and he'll put us in rooms next to each other. does that sound okay?

 **monochrome:** yeah  
**monochrome:** thank you

 **dreamon:** of course :)  
**dreamon:** i'll be back in about two hours, would you like me to help you pack?

 **monochrome:** yeah, i think that would be helpful

 **dreamon:** okay, see you then :)

 **monochrome:** yeah :)

**> dreamon is offline**  
**> monochrome is offline**

**[ DO THE SAFETY DANCE ]**

**> bicon is online**

**bicon:** any change in his condition?

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** he's been absorbing energy. bad and tubbo have helped a lot.  
**knife emoji:** he's more stable now, phil says he should wake up sometime in the next few days

 **bicon:** i see. that's a relief, then

 **knife emoji:** yeah  
**knife emoji:** i'll let everyone know when he wakes up

 **bicon:** thank you. i hope it's soon

 **knife emoji:** yeah

**> knife emoji is offline**  
**> bicon is offline**

**[ L'MANBERG ]**

**> not a furry is online**

**not a furry:** _@captain tommy_ is wilbur doing any better?

**> captain tommy is online**  
**> tubbee is online**

**captain tommy:** not really  
**captain tommy:** phil says he's stablized, but i can't tell the difference

 **tubbee:** ..does phil have any idea when he'll wake up?

 **captain tommy:** he says soon, but he's been saying that for days now  
**captain tommy:** wilbur'll be fine, though! he's real tough, this is nothing!

 **not a furry:** i hope so  
**not a furry:** it's important to stay positive, i guess

 **tubbee:** yeah! me and bad are doing everything we can

 **captain tommy:** yeah, you're doing a great job big man  
**captain tommy:** he's gonna be okay, guys, don't worry  
**captain tommy:** he has to be

 **not a furry:** yeah  
**not a furry:** let me know when he wakes up?

 **captain tommy:** yeah, of course

 **not a furry:** thanks

**> not a furry is offline**  
**> captain tommy is offline**  
**> tubbee is offline**

**[ BADBOYHALO, PHIL ]**

**> dadboyhalo is online**

**dadboyhalo:** so, skeppy said he's okay to stay at your house  
**dadboyhalo:** thank you for offering to help

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** no trouble  
**dadza:** how far has it progressed?

 **dadboyhalo:** his entire left arm and part of his shoulder, his right leg to mid-thigh, and his left leg to just below the knee have all crystallized  
**dadboyhalo:** it seems to start at non-vital spots, presumably to make the victim suffer longer before dying

 **dadza:** hm  
**dadza:** it doesn't sound like anything i recognize off the top of my head, but i have a lot of books we can look through  
**dadza:** the quickest solution would just be finding whoever cursed him, but you said it's been a while since then so that might be difficult

 **dadboyhalo:** yeah  
**dadboyhalo:** one of the first things i tried was to trace the curse, but whoever cast it is powerful enough to hide their tracks

 **dadza:** sounds like our best bet is just to look for a way to break or transfer the curse  
**dadza:** transferring would slow it down, but that's obviously a last resort

 **dadboyhalo:** yeah, of course  
**dadboyhalo:** but if it does come to that, i want you to transfer it to me  
**dadboyhalo:** i can't die as long as skeppy's alive so it won't kill me, and it'll progress slower on me anyway  
**dadboyhalo:** only if worst comes to worst, though, because skeppy refused when i offered. said not unless there was no other way

 **dadza:** alright, mate  
**dadza:** but we won't let it come to that, alright?

 **dadboyhalo:** yeah  
**dadboyhalo:** just in case

 **dadza:** okay, mate. just in case

 **dadboyhalo:** thank you

 **dadza:** of course :)

 **dadboyhalo:** :)

**> dadboyhalo is offline**  
**> dadza is offline**

**[ DO THE SAFETY DANCE ]**

**> knife emoji is online**  
**> ghostbur is online**

**knife emoji:** _@all_

 **ghostbur:** hey, guys :)

**> bicon is online**  
**> dreamon is online**

**bicon:** wilbur, it's good to hear from you

**> goddess is online**

**goddess:** you're awake! i'm so glad :)

**> muffins <3 is online**

**dreamon:** yeah man, really gave us a scare there

 **muffins <3:** how are you feeling?

 **ghostbur:** i'm alright :)  
**ghostbur:** mostly just tired

 **dreamon:** tired? you were unconscious for two weeks, how are you still tired?

 **ghostbur:** beats me  
**ghostbur:** sorry to worry all of you! that.. wasn't supposed to happen

 **muffins <3:** well, i'd sure hope not!

 **ghostbur:** oh, bad, that reminds me  
**ghostbur:** phil said you've been healing me a lot, thank you for that

 **muffins <3:** of course you silly muffin, i couldn't just do nothing while my friends are hurt

 **ghostbur:** you're a good guy, bad :)  
**ghostbur:** i am gonna go rest, though. it's nice to hear from all of you!

 **bicon:** you did just wake up from a coma, resting is probably best

 **goddess:** i'll bake something and bring it over tomorrow, does that sound alright?

 **ghostbur:** that sounds really lovely, niki, thank you

 **goddess:** of course :)

**> ghostbur is offline**  
**> knife emoji is offline**

**muffins <3:** that's a relief, knowing he's okay now

**> dreamon is offline**  
**> goddess is offline**

**bicon:** yeah, for sure

**> muffins <3 is offline**  
**> bicon is offline**

**[ TECHNOBLADE, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** i didn't want to push you in front of everyone  
**knife emoji:** but we need to talk about what happened

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** now?

 **knife emoji:** if you're up for it

 **fishfucker:** sure, i guess  
**fishfucker:** whats up?

 **knife emoji:** how did you possess a celestial?

 **fishfucker:** i dunno man, i just did  
**fishfucker:** isn't possession like an instinctive thing for ghosts?

 **knife emoji:** you know that's not what i meant  
**knife emoji:** no ghost should be strong enough to possess a celestial

 **fishfucker:** ..yeah  
**fishfucker:** honestly, i'm not a hundred percent on this  
**fishfucker:** i can guess, but.. i just knew that dream would die if i didn't do something, so i did. it's really that simple

 **knife emoji:** and where did you get the power to pull it off? intent is strong, but not strong enough to do that

 **fishfucker:** it's.. well. you know how the ashes of an noncorporeal being give it power?  
**fishfucker:** i've been using mine to get stronger so i can get a permanent physical form. being a ghost means cool powers and shit, but it would be nice to not go intangible every time i get tired  
**fishfucker:** so, that's why i had all that excess power, right? and then i used it to stop the celestial

 **knife emoji:** ..i guess that makes sense  
**knife emoji:** but if it's just energy depletion, why have you been recovering so slowly?  
**knife emoji:** i heard bad and phil talking. they said it took so much energy to heal you because it was like you weren't retaining most of it

 **fishfucker:** i really don't know, techno  
**fishfucker:** it's not like this is something i've done before. i just don't have the answers, man

 **knife emoji:** ..okay. but promise you'll tell me if it gets any worse, alright?

 **fishfucker:** you really don't have to worry, man. everything's gonna be fine

 **knife emoji:** my brother was just in a coma for two weeks, of course i'm fucking worried  
**knife emoji:** just promise me.

 **fishfucker:** ..okay. i promise.  
**fishfucker:** sorry i worried you

 **knife emoji:** it's fine, as long as you're safe

 **fishfucker:** i mean, if you think about it, there's no such thing as being 'safe'  
**fishfucker:** like, someone could have a heart attack and die, or trip on the stairs, or just like. cease to exist at any second

 **knife emoji:** thank you, that's so reassuring

 **fishfucker:** i try :)

 **knife emoji:** you do? that's sad  
**knife emoji:** maybe stick to music, because you're not very good at this

 **fishfucker:** see i could be offended by what you just said but i'm going to focus on the part where you complimented my music :)

 **knife emoji:** you do that  
**knife emoji:** now go the fuck to sleep, bad said you should still be resting a lot

 **fishfucker:** okay, okay, whatever you say

 **knife emoji:** good  
**knife emoji:** ..i'm glad you're okay.

 **fishfucker:** aww  
**fishfucker:** i love you too, techno

 **knife emoji:** sleep.

**> knife emoji is offline**

**fishfucker:** aw, are you embarrassed?  
**fishfucker:** okay :)

**> fishfucker is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so we finally get answers to the jar of ashes. but pat, you say, if those are wilbur's ashes why does he have a crematorium brochure??  
> it's not real he made it himself. he's never even been to a crematorium he just thought it'd be funny and it was
> 
> hm. so the ashes bit isn't a lie, but that doesn't mean wilbur was being honest in that conversation
> 
> also throwing in a bit to start building the next arc??? fun
> 
> next chapter should have the big part of the celestial arc with phil & bad confronting the celestials after ranboo. that'll be fun, i think :)
> 
> as always, if you have any questions abt lore feel free to ask interaction sustains me w seratonin. thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> knife emoji: @dadza someone's at the door
> 
> > fishfucker is online  
> > dadza is online
> 
> fishfucker: ttehno
> 
> dadza: wil? what's wrong?
> 
> fishfucker: its thme  
> fishfucker: gh  
> fishfucker: it's. them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh oh :)

**[ SLEEPY BOYS INCORPORATED ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** _@dadza_ someone's at the door

**> fishfucker is online**   
**> dadza is online**

**fishfucker:** ttehno

**dadza:** wil? what's wrong?

**fishfucker:** its thme  
 **fishfucker:** gh  
 **fishfucker:** it's. them  
 **fishfucker:** celestiels

**knife emoji:** fuck  
 **knife emoji:** are you okay? what's going on?

**fishfucker:** proximeitny  
 **fishfucker:** prox  
 **fishfucker:** proximiny

**knife emoji:** proximity?

**dadza:** ah fuck

**> dadza is offline**

**fishfucker:** yeah  
 **fishfucker:** m tired

**knife emoji:** as in regular tired or being near the celestials is draining your energy tired?

**fisfucker:** 2

**knife emoji:** fuck okay  
 **knife emoji:** just hang on, alright?  
 **knife emoji:** phil and bad are answering the door now

**> big t is online**

**big t:** what's going on?

**knife emoji:** thank fuck  
 **knife emoji:** i have to be here to back them up, tommy go to wilbur's room. keep him grounded if you can

**big t:** okay?? what's happening though

**fishfucker:** im fjne

**big t:** you're obviously not fucking fine??  
 **big t:** just hold on, i'm bringing tubbo we'll be there in a minute

**knife emoji:** oh shit  
 **knife emoji:** get ranboo too, it's not safe for him to come near here

**big t:** okay i'm sending tubbo on ahead  
 **big t:** but seriously big man, what's happening?

**knife emoji:** they're talking  
 **knife emoji:** trying to avoid looking at bad.. isn't he fallen or something? that would make sense..

**big t:** what are they saying?

**knife emoji:** they said they're looking for 'the abomination'  
 **knife emoji:** if looks could kill, all of those guys would've been dead seconds after saying that, gods  
 **knife emoji:** now the lead one is saying something about sacred duty or whatever  
 **knife emoji:** oh bad just went off 'no duty, sacred or otherwise, is worth more than my boy!'  
 **knife emoji:** oh shit

**big t:** oh shit??

**knife emoji:** i think phil might actually kill them  
 **knife emoji:** the one on the left just looked at bad and sniffed disdainfully, and went 'well, of course something like you couldn't possibly understand our holy mission'

**big t:** oh shit

**knife emoji:** oh my gods  
 **knife emoji:** phil just stared him dead in the eye and said 'at least he hasn't forgotten what it means to be a celestial. hunting down someone whose only crime is existing? each and every one of you is a disgrace and a shame to the celestial realm. you aren't even worthy to be in his presence, let alone pass judgement on him'

**big t:** hOLY SHIT DADZA MURDER POG????

**fishfucker:** h

**big t:** wil??  
 **big t:** techno he's getting worse, what's going on?

**knife emoji:** they let their wings out  
 **knife emoji:** whichever one he possessed must be unconsciously drawing on that link and draining wilbur to use this much power so soon after possession

**big t:** fuck wil's in a bad way

**knife emoji:** phil has his wings out too, they make the celestials look like weaklings...  
 **knife emoji:** ...oh

**big t:** oh???

**knife emoji:** ..it's bad's wings  
 **knife emoji:** they're kinda charred, but he still has his feathers  
 **knife emoji:** phil's aura is completely overwhelming the other celestials, damn  
 **knife emoji:** i knew he was powerful, but this...

**big t:** i think it's helping?? wil's still not great, but he's doing a little better  
 **big t:** tubbo's helping too

**knife emoji:** good  
 **knife emoji:** i think they're leaving? phil just told them to never come near his family again or he'll show them why he's called the angel of death

**big t:** holy shit??? dadza murder pog????

**knife emoji:** dadza murder pog

**fishfucker:** pog

**big t:** stop typing and rest?? go back into a coma or whatever, tubbo says you're really low on energy

**knife emoji:** absolutely do NOT go back into a coma what the fuck tommy

**big t:** okay no coma but do sleep

**fishfucker:** m

**> fishfucker is offline**

**knife emoji:** they're gone  
 **knife emoji:** how's ranboo?

**big t:** uh hang on  
 **big t:** he seems pretty shaken up, but he's okay

**knife emoji:** good  
 **knife emoji:** bad's on his way, tubbo can rest now

**big t:** i'll tell him

**> big t is offline**

**knife emoji:** this had better be the last of this  
 **knife emoji:** if they try anything else i'll tear them to shreds

**> knife emoji is offline**

**[ BADBOYHALO, PHIL ]**

**> dadboyhalo is online**

**dadboyhalo:** thank you for earlier  
 **dadboyhalo:** that.. it means a lot to me

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** of course, mate  
 **dadza:** i meant every word. far as i can tell, you're more of a celestial than those fuckwits

**dadboyhalo:** language  
 **dadboyhalo:** and.. thank you, phil

**dadza:** you're welcome mate :)  
 **dadza:** what would you like to do now? you're welcome to stay here as long as you want

**dadboyhalo:** i mean..  
 **dadboyhalo:** until skeppy's doing better, i think it would be good for him to stay here. the house's energy seems to slow it down a bit

**dadza:** of course  
 **dadza:** it would help more if he was also one of mine, but just being there should help plenty so don't worry about it

**dadboyhalo:** about that  
 **dadboyhalo:** do you remember learning about combined oaths?

**dadza:** yeah  
 **dadza:** am i assuming too much by guessing that's something you'd like to do

**dadboyhalo:** ...i know i can't protect mine alone. if it had been just me when they came for ranboo...  
 **dadboyhalo:** so i guess i'm offering a deal. a contract, of sorts  
 **dadboyhalo:** if you agree to help look out for mine, i'll look out for yours

**dadza:** that sounds fine. consider it a deal, then

**dadboyhalo:** thank you  
 **dadboyhalo:** we seal by swapping feathers, right? hang on, i'll be right there

**dadza:** pretty sure i should be thanking you  
 **dadza:** yeah, i'll get one of mine

**> dadboyhalo is offline**   
**> dadza is offline**

**[ BADBOYHALO, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> muffins <3 is online**

**muffins <3:** hey, wilbur. how are you feeling?

**> ghostbur is online**

**ghostbur:** i'm fine, thanks  
 **ghostbur:** how are you?

**muffins <3:** i'm alright! :)  
 **muffins <3:** actually, i wanted to talk to you for a bit

**ghostbur:** sure, what's up?

**muffins <3:** how much do you know about what's happening to skeppy?

**ghostbur:** not much. he was cursed, right?

**muffins <3:** mhm  
 **muffins <3:** parts of his body are slowly crystallizing

**ghostbur:** shit, man  
 **ghostbur:** is there some way for me to help?

**muffins <3:** with the curse, probably not  
 **muffins <3:** but skeppy asked to talk to you. since you've died and all...

**ghostbur:** ah.  
 **ghostbur:** i can handle that, yeah

**muffins <3:** thank you :)

**ghostbur:** it's no problem :)

**> muffins <3 is calling**

**[ BADBOYHALO, PHIL ]**

**> dadboyhalo is online**

**dadboyhalo:** phil?

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** bad? what's wrong?

**dadboyhalo:** ...phil, how did wilbur die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skfjbd i dont. im not thrilled w this one but it's been a while and something is better than nothing :'
> 
> also this is basically the end of the celestial arc. pog! we're gonna enter the cursed arc, which centers around skeppy & bad. wishing myself good luck getting through that w/o skeppy actually showing up sjkdf,,,, i just cannot figure out how to write him... hence having bad talk on his behalf djsk
> 
> thanks for reading! hopefully the next chapter will be better :')


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> > dadboyhalo is online
> 
> dadboyhalo: phil?
> 
> > dadza is online
> 
> dadza: bad? what's wrong?
> 
> dadboyhalo: ...phil, how did wilbur die?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooh boy here we go
> 
> uhh be aware there is a mention of suicide in the section with techno & wilbur. techno is pressing for answers about how he died and asks if he committed suicide, which is immediately answered as a no. if u gotta skip that section that's chill, take care of yourselves

**[ BADBOYHALO, PHIL ]**

**> dadboyhalo is online**

**dadboyhalo:** phil?

**> dadza is online**

**dadza:** bad? what's wrong?

 **dadboyhalo:** ...phil, how did wilbur die?

 **dadza:** i dunno, he doesn't talk about it  
**dadza:** why do you ask?

 **dadboyhalo:** he and skeppy were talking, about death and stuff  
**dadboyhalo:** since he's a ghost and all, you know?

 **dadza:** yeah

 **dadboyhalo:** well, skeppy told me some of the things he said about death, and it's just.. concerning

 **dadza:** what do you mean?

 **dadboyhalo:** it's just..  
**dadboyhalo:** how much do you know about his life, and how he died?

 **dadza:** ...barely anything, actually, now that i think about it  
**dadza:** bad, what was he saying?

 **dadboyhalo:** i'm not sure. it's just.. skeppy asked me how he died, and when i said i didn't know he said he doesn't think it was an accident

 **dadza:** what? what does that mean?

 **dadboyhalo:** i'm not sure, but i don't think it's a good thing  
**dadboyhalo:** the stuff skeppy told me involved something about how he knew he was going to die before it happened and he was okay with it? made peace with it long before he died, or something like that  
**dadboyhalo:** and normally i'd think oh, maybe he was sick or something, but. skeppy said the way he sounded... he doesn't think it was natural causes

 **dadza:** that's.. did skeppy say anything more specific? because that's pretty vague

 **dadboyhalo:** not really, no  
**dadboyhalo:** honestly, the biggest reason i'm this concerned is because skeppy is. i don't see him get worried for people he doesn't know well very often

 **dadza:** that is worrying  
**dadza:** i'll have techno talk to him, yeah? they tell each other most things  
**dadza:** thank you for telling me, bad. i'll let you know if it's something to be worried about, alright

 **dadboyhalo:** alright, sounds good

**> dadboyhalo is offline**  
**> dadza is offline**

  
**[ TECHNOBLADE, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** wilbur, can we talk real quick?

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** sure man, what's up?

 **knife emoji:** how did you die?

 **fishfucker:** this again? techno, my dude, it's really not a big deal

 **knife emoji:** just answer me  
**knife emoji:** please

 **fishfucker:** ritual combat

 **knife emoji:** wil.

 **fishfucker:** train heist

 **knife emoji:** wilbur.

 **fishfucker:** boating accident

 **knife emoji:** wilbur please just be honest with me

 **fishfucker:** falling stage light sabotaged by a jealous rival  
**fishfucker:** i am incredibly honest

 **knife emoji:** wilbur, did you kill yourself?

 **fishfucker:** what?  
**fishfucker:** no, i didn't  
**fishfucker:** why would you think that?

 **knife emoji:** heard concerning stuff from phil who heard from bad who overheard skeppy  
**knife emoji:** wilbur please be honest with me on this one. no games.

 **fishfucker:** i didn't, i promise

 **knife emoji:** ...okay  
**knife emoji:** please explain what you meant, then?

 **fishfucker:** cmon man, it's not that big a deal

 **knife emoji:** it is to me!  
**knife emoji:** i'm worried about you, wilbur

 **fishfucker:** ..okay. i'm sorry for worrying you  
**fishfucker:** it would have happened eventually, okay? i just didn't fight it. that's hardly something i'd describe as killing myself

 **knife emoji:** didn't fight what? wilbur, what did you die from? because i've never seen any fatal wounds or signs of sickness on you

 **fishfucker:** it really doesn't matter, techno. i knew it would get me sooner or later, and i just didn't try to make sooner turn into later. that's really all there is to it.

 **knife emoji:** but why?  
**knife emoji:** were you sick, or something? 'it' is incredibly vague, you could be talking anything from plague to assassins  
**knife emoji:** wilbur?

 **fishfucker:** ..a lot happened today, i'm tired. i'm going to go rest.

**> fishfucker is offline**

**knife emoji:** wilbur?  
**knife emoji:** ..sorry. shouldn't have pushed like that  
**knife emoji:** rest well

**> knife emoji is offline**

  
**[ TOMMYINNIT, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> big t is online**

**big t:** hey, wil  
**big t:** you okay? you seemed kinda down yesterday  
**big t:** did you and techno get in a fight or something? he's been kinda mopey

**> ok child is online**

**ok child:** no, we didn't fight  
**ok child:** i'm fine, tommy. just tired

 **big t:** you sure? i'm just kinda worried, big man

 **ok child:** i'm sure  
**ok child:** everything's fine, tommy, you don't need to worry

 **big t:** ...okay, if you say so  
**big t:** you know i love you, right?

 **ok child:** are you trying to make me cry??? because i Will

 **big t:** HAH softie

 **ok child:** oh fuck off  
**ok child:** i love you too, you insufferable gremlin child

 **big t:** HEY  
**big t:** I'M NOT A FUCKIN CHILD

 **ok child:** <-

**> ok child is offline**

**big t:** YOU FUCKIN  
**big t:** GET BACK HERE YOU BITCH

**> big t is offline**

  
**[ DREAM, RANBOO ]**

**> monochrome is online**

**monochrome:** dream? i had a question,,

**> dreamon is online**

**dreamon:** hey, what's up?

 **monochrome:** well, it's just. wilbur is a ghost, right? and he's sick or hurt or something, but i don't really understand how that works?

 **dreamon:** oh, i got you  
**dreamon:** ghosts are pretty simple stuff, you'll catch on quickly :)  
**dreamon:** so, the easiest part is that only humans and part-humans become ghosts. the kind that stick around, at least

 **monochrome:** really? why?

 **dreamon:** because of the Law. every creature has a Law that governs the nature of their existence. i mentioned how the Law of the celestials is justice, right? well, for humans it's freedom. that means a lot of things, but most relevantly it means they're really fucking stubborn  
**dreamon:** so after dying, determined enough humans can remain in a noncorporeal form

 **monochrome:** huh  
**monochrome:** is it just determination that decides if a human becomes a ghost?

 **dreamon:** kind of? it really comes down to whether or not they're ready to move on. someone who's accepted death and let go of their attachments will move on to whatever comes after, and someone who hasn't is more likely to stay  
**dreamon:** most ghosts are too weak to resist the earth's call, though, and they join the energy in the core

 **monochrome:** huh. wild  
**monochrome:** you mentioned wilbur is a poltergeist, what does that mean?

 **dreamon:** well, there are different kinds of ghosts, they're separated by something called an area. think like a specialty?  
**dreamon:** a poltergeist, like wilbur, is best at interacting with physical objects, through touch or telekinesis. spirits are tuned into energy flow more than other kinds, they do stuff with electricity. banshees deal with visions and precognition, like in legends where they know that someone is going to die soon. wraiths are some of the most outright dangerous just because their area is possession of living things, but the ones i've met are pretty nice

 **monochrome:** that's pretty cool. how is it decided who becomes what kind of ghost when they die?

 **dreamon:** nobody really knows, ranboo. it's just one of those things. what decided the Law each species would form around? only someone around back then would know, and the gods are all gone

 **monochrome:** gods? like, plural?

 **dreamon:** yeah, there used to be gods wandering around  
**dreamon:** they didn't create the world, that's a myth. they were more like... concepts, i guess? like the embodiment of their domain. like a god of freedom, a god of knowledge, and so on

 **monochrome:** you said used to be.. what happened?

 **dreamon:** they faded. no one knows why, but one by one they started to disappear. that's around when they created the celestials, so that there would be someone to uphold justice when they were gone  
**dreamon:** if i remember the stories correctly, the last to fade were freedom, memory, and regret  
**dreamon:** there are old books on the gods somewhere, but it's been millenia so who knows how accurate they are

 **monochrome:** so gods created celestials, but not the world itself.. did they create all species?

 **dreamon:** not quite, celestials are an exception. the gods came from the earth, and so did almost everything else. most species were.. gifts? something like that, and whatever god their Law fell in the domain of, that's who was assigned to take care of them

 **monochrome:** so for humans, the god of freedom would be assigned to look after them?

 **dreamon:** yeah! you're getting it :)

 **monochrome:** yeah, i think so :)

 **dreamon:** did that answer your question?

 **monochrome:** yeah, thank you

 **dreamon:** of course. if there's anything else you want to know, feel free to ask!

 **monochrome:** okay :)

**> monochrome is offline**  
**> dreamon is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wilbur's rlly playing the 'how vague can i get while still technically telling the truth' game huh
> 
> also a bit heavier topics in this one, so i gave you guys a lore dump at the end :) if you have any further questions you can ask in the comments or message me on i-patrichor on tumblr, i'm trying out posting about my writing there so we'll see how that goes i guess lmao :'
> 
> thanks for reading! :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ L'MANBERG ]
> 
> > general soot is online
> 
> general soot: i'm not going to be able to make it to the next debate, so i'd like to go over things with you all and make sure you're prepared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall get l'manberg content bc i was rewatching old videos to help with the next chapter of tbabowfy and i fuckin miss it, man
> 
> not a lot of plot or lore in this one! i just wanted a lighter chapter bc things have been kinda Goin lately (in the fic and irl lmao) and i want to give you guys a chance to breathe between the thwacking of the lore and angst hammers :'
> 
> also idk why but i haven't been motivating to write recently,,  
> the way i write is an idea forms in my head, and then i just start typing and the words just put themselves on the page, right? but there needs to be, for lack of a better descriptor, a spark or something to fuel it on the way and that just hasn't been there lately. it's like a missing link or something lmao,, the ideas are there but they aren't converting themselves to words very easily.  
> it might be because i've been feeling sick n i might be coming down w something?? idk man  
> i can still write! it's just slower and i won't be as satisfied w the end result lmao :' dw tho, this is just something that happens sometimes, it doesn't last forever :)
> 
> thanks for reading!

**[ L'MANBERG ]**

**> general soot is online**

**general soot:** i'm not going to be able to make it to the next debate, so i'd like to go over things with you all and make sure you're prepared

**> tubbee is online**   
**> captain tommy is online**   
**> not a furry is online**   
**> goddess is online**

**goddess:** of course, wil :)

 **captain tommy:** sure thing big man!

 **general soot:** alright. tommy, you're going against george, correct?

 **captain tommy:** yeah i'm gonna fuck gogy up!!

 **general soot:** ...okay.  
 **general soot:** the most important thing is to keep your temper in check, since I won't be there to calm you down. george's best tactic is angering his opponent, which makes this a bad matchup, but i have faith in you to keep your head and win, alright?

 **captain tommy:** i can keep my temper under control!!

 **tubbee:** well...  
 **goddess:** well...  
 **not a furry:** well....

 **captain tommy:** WHY DID ALL OF YOU ANSWER AT THE SAME TIME SHUT THE FCUK UP

 **tubbee:** case in point

 **general soot:** tubbo, will you remind tommy to calm down if he starts getting angry?

 **tubbee:** yeah :)

 **general soot:** thank you, tubbo  
 **general soot:** tommy, how well do you know the material?

 **captain tommy:** no problem, big man! i did so much fuckin research on this one

 **tubbee:** :(

 **captain tommy:** okay tubbo did most of it but i helped!

 **tubbee:** :)

 **general soot:** alright. thank you, tubbo. tommy, review your arguments again before the debate, okay?

 **captain tommy:** will do!

 **general soot:** good. fundy, you're facing sapnap. he's best at picking apart arguments that get too complicated, so keep things straightforward. you're good at verbal traps so feel free to set some, but don't let things get out of hand. have you reviewed the material?

 **not a furry:** yeah  
 **not a furry:** sapnap has no idea what's coming for him

 **general soot:** alright. just make sure to keep an eye on the big picture, don't let yourself get too caught up in things

 **not a furry:** i can do that

 **general soot:** good

**[ ERET, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> bicon is online**

**bicon:** general.

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** traitor.

 **bicon:** i know you won't be able to make it to the next battle. i want to offer my assistance.

 **fishfucker:** and why should i trust you?

 **bicon:** you need a fifth, and i want to make up for my past actions.  
 **bicon:** can i be perfectly transparent with you, general?

 **fishfucker:** go on.

**[ L'MANBERG ]**

**general soot:** niki, you're going against badboyhalo, right?

 **goddess:** yes

 **general soot:** okay. he tends to try and lead people in circles and confuse them, so avoid getting pulled in and you should be fine. do you have your arguments prepared?

 **goddess:** yes!

 **general soot:** awesome :)

**[ ERET, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**bicon:** dream knows i want to help you. he's told me that should i do so, i will be removed from my position.

 **fishfucker:** the very position you betrayed us for.

 **bicon:** ..yes.  
 **bicon:** i've learned something, these past months. status, power- they mean nothing if you're alone. i regret the choice i made, and if you'll allow me, i'd like to rectify it.

 **fishfucker:** ....

**[ L'MANBERG ]**

**general soot:** tubbo, you're against quackity. he tends to favor overwhelming his opponent with a dozen barely-comprehensible arguments. remember your strategy?

 **tubbee:** yes!  
 **tubbee:** take control of the flow by examining his arguments in-depth, and don't let him move on without thoroughly examining the flaws in his statements

 **general soot:** good. i have faith in you, tubbo

 **tubbee:** i won't let you down!

 **general soot:** i know you won't, tubbo :)

**[ ERET, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**fishfucker:** ..i will give you one chance.  
 **fishfucker:** betray us again, and i will take all of your canon lives.

 **bicon:** i understand. thank you, general.

 **fishfucker:** don't thank me yet. we'll see how it goes.

**> fishfucker is offline**   
**> bicon is offline**

**[ L'MANBERG ]**

**not a furry:** wilbur, you were going to debate dream, right? who's going to substitute for you?

 **general soot:** yes, that is the last order of business  
 **general soot:** i've been approached by someone offering to assist us, and have decided to give them one chance, only because we do need a fifth

 **captain tommy:** ?? who??

 **tubbee:** wait! you mean-?

**> general soot has added bicon to the chat**

**not a furry:** eret?

 **bicon:** hello fundy

 **captain tommy:** what is he doing here?? wilbur, she betrayed us before, why are you trusting them?

 **general soot:** i'm not. i have contingencies in place. but they made a compelling argument, and so i've given him one and only one chance to prove herself

 **bicon:** i know my past actions were harmful, and i deeply apologize. i'm giving up my position as club president in order to follow my heart and make amends

 **not a furry:** eret...

 **goddess:** i'm so glad you're back :)

 **not a furry:** yeah. me, too

 **bicon:** thank you both. :)

 **captain tommy:** ...alright. i'll follow wilbur's lead, but don't think that means i won't be keeping an eye on you!

 **bicon:** i understand, captain

 **tubbee:** um.. i'm not really sure about all this, but i think it'll be nice to team with you again, eret :)

 **bicon:** thank you, tubbo. i feel the same. :)

 **general soot:** alright, that's all the business for now. unless anyone has anything they'd like to bring up, this meeting is adjourned

 **goddess:** nothing here

 **not a furry:** nope

 **tubbee:** nothing from me :)

 **captain tommy:** i think we're done, then!

**> captain tommy is offline**   
**> general soot is offline**   
**> not a furry is offline**   
**> tubbee is offline**   
**> goddess is offline**   
**> bicon is offline**

**[ TUBBO, WILBUR SOOT ]**

**> fishfucker is online**

**fishfucker:** tubbo, i have something important for you

**> tubbee is online**

**tubbee:** yeah?

 **fishfucker:** i mentioned i have contingency plans for eret

 **tubbee:** yeah

 **fishfucker:** that's you. you're the contingency plan  
 **fishfucker:** if they betray us again, i'm trusting you to step in and take their place against dream  
 **fishfucker:** i know it won't be easy, but i really think you're the best suited for it

 **tubbee:** oh, wow. that's..  
 **tubbee:** i'll do my best!

 **fishfucker:** i trust your ability, tubbo. just don't get stressed, keep your head in the game and you'll be fine

 **tubbee:** okay! hopefully it won't be necessary, though

 **fishfucker:** oh yeah of course, this is just in case! i'm not going to let any of you lose more canon lives because of my mistakes

 **tubbee:** wilbur, eret betraying us wasn't your fault. you know that, right?

 **fishfucker:** of course i know that  
 **fishfucker:** i just don't want any of you to get hurt, especially because of a bad judgement call on my part

 **tubbee:** it's okay  
 **tubbee:** you've made all the plans you could, okay? everything's gonna be fine

 **fishfucker:** ...yeah. thanks, tubbo

 **tubbee:** you're welcome :)  
 **tubbee:** are you okay, though? you seemed fine during the war meeting, but now you sound really tired

 **fishfucker:** it's fine. a general can't show weakness, right?  
 **fishfucker:** i'm just tired, no worries. i'll rest a little and be good as new :)

 **tubbee:** okay, if you say so :)  
 **tubbee:** get some rest, i'll tell tommy not to disturb you this afternoon

 **fishfucker:** thanks  
 **fishfucker:** you're a good kid, tubbo

 **tubbee:** :)

**> tubbee is offline**   
**> fishfucker is offline**

**[ BADBOYHALO, TECHNOBLADE ]**

**> muffins <3 is online**

**muffins <3:** hey, do you have a minute to talk?  
 **muffins <3:** it's not an emergency or anything, don't worry

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** sure, i'm not busy. what's up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i've been wanting to participate in the dsmp big bang as a writer, but i can't rlly decide on a fic to write for it? so i wanted to ask if u guys have any opinions (all of these will be written eventually! so it's not which one would you like to see, more like which one do you think would be good for this event specifically. also everything is on dsmp-bigbang on tumblr if any of yall would like to participate :))
> 
> \- first one is a doomsday fix-it fic with karl! this one i have like. 1.5 chapters written, but i haven't figured out quite how i want it to go lmao :'  
> "desperate to prevent an apocalyptic future where the eggpire controls the server, karl jacobs comes back in time to the moment he's pinpointed as the source of everything going wrong- the third and final destruction of l'manberg. he forms an uneasy alliance with technoblade and tries to persuade the rest of the server to stop infighting and band together to face the threats he knows are coming, but without revealing himself as a time traveler, his success is limited. as he struggles with his failing memory and interference from dream all while trying to allay the concerns of his fiances, the egg begins to whisper in his mind."
> 
> \- second one is another karl-centric fix-it fic, but all the way back to the revolution. i haven't started this one, but i've planned it out all the way to the beginning of pogtopia  
> "horrified by the destruction of doomsday and all the pain that led up to it, karl jacobs goes back in time all the way to the start of l'manberg, determined to fix things. with knowledge from the future of dream's plans and tactics, he's allowed to join the fledgling nation, but his failing memory has him mixing up past, present, and future. dream doesn't take kindly to a sudden thorn in his side, deciding to find out what he knows and how no matter the cost. meanwhile, sapnap and quackity try to figure out who karl is to them and why he seems so familiar while scrambling to try and keep him safe from the leaders of the greater smp and manburg alike."
> 
> \- third option would be something with ender dragon!ranboo, i'll take suggestions bc i'm drawing a blank for that series,, there's plenty of stuff i'd like to do with it but nothing sounds Right,, yknow??
> 
> \- and then fourth would be if you guys had any suggestions for a oneshot or short multichap lmao :' the problem with the time travel ones is they're gonna be a decent length, so they'll be harder to write in time,, i just can't think of anything else rn so suggestions are welcome :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [ BADBOYHALO, TECHNOBLADE ]
> 
> > muffins <3 is online
> 
> muffins <3: hey, do you have a minute to talk?  
> muffins <3: it's not an emergency or anything, don't worry
> 
> > knife emoji is online
> 
> knife emoji: sure, i'm not busy. what's up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayup lads
> 
> been a bit since i updated this one huh? no serious lore stuff happening, i'm tired and i was rewatching l'manberg revolution-era vods so you get some more l'manberg content to follow up the last bit ^^
> 
> anyway if the formatting looks a little weird that's bc i'm using something different to write now, so the spacing between lines is different. not much i can do abt that, but i don't think it's too bad a chance ^^
> 
> anyway the reason this took so long is bc normally i have a couple plot threads going at once, right? and normally i'd put in the next after one wraps up but both this one and the next one involve techno so i can't really do both at once, yknow? i'll probably end up shifting around the timeline skvlbfdh,,, or just dropping one bit entirely since i can do the same thing another way and also Can't Write Skeppy nhfdj :'''
> 
> ...god i miss l'manberg

**[ BADBOYHALO, TECHNOBLADE ]** ****

**> muffins <3 is online**

**muffins <3:** hey, do you have a minute to talk?

 **muffins <3:** it's not an emergency or anything, don't worry

**> knife emoji is online**

**knife emoji:** sure, i'm not busy. what's up?

**muffins <3:** it's just.. i'm worried about skeppy

 **muffins <3: **and i know you understand the need to protect, better than almost anyone else here

**knife emoji:** that's true

 **knife emoji:** tell me something, why do you want to protect him? because you'll die if he does?

**muffins <3:** what? of course not

 **muffins <3:** i mean, don't get me wrong i would prefer not to die, but skeppy is my best friend. i need him to be okay because i care about him

**knife emoji:** i understand

 **knife emoji:** you're scared, right? scared that you can't protect him

**muffins <3:** ...yeah.

 **muffins <3:** how do you deal with it? wanting to keep them safe, and not knowing if you can?

**knife emoji:** taking action.

 **knife emoji:** even if it's something small, actively working to help them helps with the worst of it

**muffins <3:** yeah, i can see that

**knife emoji:** ..phil has some old books on curses somewhere

 **knife emoji:** if you want, we could look through them

**muffins <3:** that would be really nice

 **muffins <3:** thank you, techno

**knife emoji:** you're welcome

**> knife emoji is offline**

**> muffins <3 is offline**

  
  
  


**[ L’MANBERG ]**

**> captain tommy is online**

**captain tommy:** HELL YEAH WE KICKED ASS

**> tubbee is online**

**> goddess is online**

**tubbee:** yeah!

 **tubbee:** you did a really good job, tommy!

**> not a furry is online**

**captain tommy:** of course i did, was there ever any doubt???

**goddess:** well...

 **not a furry:** well…

**> general soot is online**

**general soot:** well…

**captain tommy:** OKAY FUCK ALL OF YOU TOO

**tubbee:** i never doubted you tommy :-]

**captain tommy:** thank you tubbo, you’re the only bitch here i can trust

 **captain tommy:** wilbur how do you always come online right when i am being Bullied??

**general soot:** i feel a great disturbance in the fabric of reality

 **general soot:** as if someone’s making fun of a child without me

**> bicon is online**

**captain tommy:** i’m not a Fucking child!!!

**bicon:** _[image of a person’s face from a video game looking skeptical next to a button prompt that says ‘press x to doubt’]_

**captain tommy:** FUCK OFF

**not a furry:** hahhaha

**general soot:** alright, alright, settle down

 **general soot:** who’s going to fill me in on what happened?

 **general soot:** captain tommy, you were up first. Report

**captain tommy:** i didn’t win, but it was really fuckin close

 **captain tommy:** i didn’t yell at all until right near the end, though! tell him, tubbo

**tubbee:** yeah, he held it together right up until george made some… unflattering implications about you and then he went mental

 **tubbee:** but he lasted longer than last time!

**general soot:** well done, tommy. i’m proud of you for keeping your temper under control for as long as you could. i know it isn’t easy

**captain tommy:** thank you, wilbur

**general soot:** who went next? fundy, right?

**not a furry:** yeah

 **not a furry:** sapnap never stood a chance. i kept it simple like you said, and he had nothing on me

**general soot:** good job, fundy. sapnap is a dangerous opponent once he spots a weakness, i’m proud of you for keeping steady

**not a furry:** thanks wilbur

**general soot:** niki was next, right?

**goddess:** yes

 **goddess:** i didn’t win, i’m sorry

**general soot:** don’t worry about it! bad has been around a very long time, he’s a very difficult opponent. i’m sure you did wonderfully

**goddess:** thank you, wil :]

**general soot:** :]

 **general soot:** tubbo was second to last, yes?

**tubbee:** yeah!

**general soot:** how did it go?

**tubbee:** big q didn’t stand a chance!

 **tubbee:** i took control of the flow like you suggested, and he couldn’t do shit :-]

**general soot:** well done, tubbo. big q’s greatest strength is his words, it’s impressive for you to defeat him. this was a good match-up i think, you’re maybe the best-suited here to deal with him

**tubbee:** thank you wilbur :-]

**general soot:** eret. how did it go?

**bicon:** it went well, general. l’manberg’s victory is secure. dream is a good debater, but there’s a reason i was the one he originally approached

 **bicon:** i know how he works, he was at a disadvantage from the beginning

**tubbee:** yeah, eret won the day for us!

**general soot:** i see

 **general soot:** then, i think we can officially welcome you back to l’manberg, on a trial basis

**bicon:** thank you, general. i won’t let you down

**general soot:** we’ll see

 **general soot:** well done, all of you. we’ll hold a victory celebration some time later this week, likely over the weekend

 **general soot:** i’m very proud of you all

**captain tommy:** hell yeah!!! good job guys, we really showed the dream team who’s boss!!

**goddess:** yes, well done everyone :]

**not a furry:** they’ll think twice before challenging us so carelessly again

**tubbee:** yeah >:3 good job everyone!

**bicon:** well done to you all

**> general soot is offline**

**not a furry:** is he alright? he seemed kinda… subdued, i guess

**captain tommy:** probably just wishing he could’ve been there with us! you know how he gets sometimes

**not a furry:** yeah, probably

 **not a furry:** we got ranboo to video it though, so he can watch it later

**goddess:** i’m sure that will make him very happy :] he might still be tired though, so let’s let him rest and give him the video tomorrow after classes

**tubbee:** that’s probably for the best :-]

 **tubbee:** i have to go now, i have homework

**captain tommy:** want help with the written part?

**tubbee:** yeah, that’d be great thanks

**captain tommy:** on my way!

**> captain tommy is offline**

**goddess:** bye tubbo, bye everyone ^^

**not a furry:** yeah, bye

**> goddess is offline**

**bicon:** farewell, gentlemen

**tubbee:** bye eret!

**> tubbee is offline**

**> not a furry is offline**

**> bicon is offline**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kdhv naturally as soon as i offer something vague my mind goes fuckin blank,,,, so uh if there's any species you want to have ranboo ask dream about feel free to suggest some bc i'm drawing a complete blank on which ones i've even included in the au skbhdgjb :'''
> 
> also the end end note, the one that moves from chapter to chapter? yeah that ones gonna be updated sometimes with the most accurate lore to what's been revealed so far, so feel free to check it sometimes bc who knows what i'll change :) the end author's note in the first chapter however does have the original version and will not be updated, you can make of the differences between the two what you will :)
> 
> speaking of lore, there's a lot of stuff i've explained in the comments of various chapters that i'm not gonna necessarily repeat in the story itself bc it would feel redundant or awkward, so if you want the full lore just scroll through ig? it's mostly just worldbuilding stuff you won't be missing anything big if you don't ^^
> 
> anyway i'm getting excited because there's a smaller arc within the cursed arc that we're almost at, it's the roadtrip arc and i'm very hype for it dkgh
> 
> thanks for reading! hope yall enjoyed :}

**Author's Note:**

> this will be the most recently revealed lore! it can and will be updated as necessary :)
> 
> LIVING SITUATIONS
> 
> phil's house  
> \- phil  
> \- technoblade  
> \- wilbur  
> \- tommy  
> \- tubbo  
> \- ranboo  
> \- dream  
> \- badboyhalo  
> \- skeppy
> 
> apartment  
> \- niki  
> \- eret
> 
> dream, george and sapnap live in another apartment in the same building and bad & skeppy share an apartment elsewhere. dream, bad, and skeppy are currently staying with phil
> 
> RELATIONS  
> \- phil's adopted technoblade, wilbur, tommy, and tubbo. he and bad joined their oaths, so technically ranboo is his kid now too  
> \- technoblade and wilbur aren't actually related, but technoblade didn't have a birthday and wilbur was so offended he made them share so they're twins now  
> \- dream is ranboo's older half-brother, but the accident that gave ranboo amnesia separated them and he wants to let ranboo remember at his own pace so from ranboo's pov he's just a nice, slightly overprotective friend/neighbor
> 
> SPECIES  
> \- phil: celestial. has wings of light, protects those under his care, etc. also minor healing abilities  
> \- technoblade: avatar of the blood god. pretty much just makes him a better fighter and also keeps him from dying permanently. like he can die it just doesn't last long. he satisfies his patron with the blood of the malevolent creatures he & dream hunt instead of targeting humans  
> \- wilbur: supposedly a ghost, think like a poltergeist. invisibility, minor telekinesis, intangibility, limited flight, supernatural vibe detector. he lived in the house phil now owns for a few hundred years until phil & technoblade moved in. technoblade was going to get rid of him but when he saw how ecstatic wilbur was just to have someone to talk to he didn't have the heart to exorcise him. gives wildly different answers every time he's asked how he died, has confirmed it was not suicide  
> \- tommy: trickster. basically just rule of funny powers. cartoon logic in this bitch. it backfires on him plenty but he doesn't mind  
> \- tubbo: nature spirit. controls plants/animals, stronger healing abilities than phil  
> \- ranboo: half dreamon, half celestial. teleportation, prehensile tail, minor illusions, his dual heritage means he can sense the location/identity of most creatures (any related to either side)  
> \- dream: dreamon. enhanced reaction speed, luck, illusions, entering dreams, view but not alter memories  
> \- george: psychic human  
> \- sapnap: fire spirit  
> \- badboyhalo: fallen celestial. basically an inverse of phil, his whole thing also centers around oaths and protecting those 'under his care' (his friends lmao). the biggest difference is that he uses demonic instead of holy power to do so. notably, unlike others of his kind who can now only cause decay, he retains the ability to heal others, something said to depend on one's pureness/strength of heart. he fell because his compassion went against celestial law, and has combined his oath with phil's to protect each other's groups  
> \- skeppy: cursed human. parts of his skin are crystallized, made of a material similar to diamond but practically unbreakable. it's very slowly spreading to more of his body, and he'll die when he completely transforms. he summoned bbh to the human realm to try and find a way to break the curse, but the ritual he used linked their life energy so bad survives as long as he does  
> \- fundy: kitsune/fox spirit  
> \- niki: dragon shifter. her hoard is her friends, and she's very gentle but will go ballistic if you hurt someone she cares about  
> \- eret: ??? (not even they know)  
> \- quackity: harpy  
> \- schlatt: goatman, technically a demon. supernaturally convincing. it doesn't work on wilbur, they get along so well because wilbur doesn't fall for his shit but will often go along with him anyway


End file.
